Sad Ending
In this episode...
In this episode of "Afraid to Ask," comedian Jamie Lissow and his more informed half discuss if massages are a waste of money or if they actually have physical and mental benefits. And answer questions like “Do Women Get Happy Endings?” and “How much is appropriate to tip if you think you were sexually assaulted.”
Chapters
00:00 - Medical Benefits Of Massage
03:00 - Psychosomatic Pain
04:20 - Physical Benefits Of Massage
06:30 - Do Women Get Happy Endings?
09:00 - Rub & Tugs
09:20 - Jamie’s Non-Consensual Massage
15:30 - How Much To Tip For A Sexual Assault
17:46 - Tipping Etiquette For Bad Service
20:00 - Jamie Shared A Dressing Room With Thunder From Down Under
21:55 - Bachelor And Bachelorette Parties Can Cause Divorce
25:50 - Stripper In Alaska
31:40 - At What Age Will My Penis Stop Working?
34:00 - Male Vs Female Patients When It Comes To Sex Issues
36:40 - Getting & Sustaining Erections & The Powerful Aged Sperm If Pablo Picasso
39:30 - How Female Eggs Are Like Bitcoin
41:00 - Why Jamie’s A Pervert
42:00 - Jamie’s Fan Base
About the Podcast
Comedian Jamie Lissow and his smarter half Dr. Erika answer all kinds of medical, dating, sex, divorce, questions some might be afraid to ask. Listen & subscribe for prescriptions and punchlines.
Mentioned in this episode:
Warning:
This is an uncensored podcast that will include adult language and topics. Viewer discretion is advised.
Transcript
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit I'm afraid to ask
Speaker:but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:question coming in would you like to hear it
Speaker:sure speaking of a woman
Speaker:massaging my butt without permission
Speaker:last night okay
Speaker:again
Speaker:I just want to say this really fast before we move on
Speaker:take your time
Speaker:I'm not okay that your personal space was interrupted
Speaker:yeah and not respected
Speaker:I will never advocate for that
Speaker:I think that's important
Speaker:I'm not like so free spirited and I'm like
Speaker:oh rope him
Speaker:you matter and if you're feeling violated
Speaker:then I believe it I hear it
Speaker:I see it and I respect it and I'm angry
Speaker:I hated it I don't know that I felt violated
Speaker:fuck that bitch yeah
Speaker:why do I have to say nice words fuck you cunt
Speaker:I did it back to her I was like
Speaker:you like that what about this
Speaker:you want a little bit of this
Speaker:yeah you can see
Speaker:isn't that a crazy double standard though
Speaker:if I pinched her ass her husband
Speaker:or whoever was with her would have been like
Speaker:fuck you Jamie boom
Speaker:completely 100%
Speaker:it's almost like I'm not a real person that but yeah
Speaker:that bothers me
Speaker:they think that you're just like for show
Speaker:so I got a question coming in
Speaker:this is interesting
Speaker:Doctor Erica and Jamie
Speaker:sometimes I feel like they put in Jamie just to be nice
Speaker:I get massages all the time
Speaker:because they're good for my sciatica
Speaker:sciatica and my circulation
Speaker:but my boyfriend thinks I'm wasting money ah
Speaker:could you please tell him
Speaker:there's an actual health benefit to massage
Speaker:or is he right do you massages yeah monthly
Speaker:hmm cause they feel good
Speaker:or do they they help sciatica
Speaker:oh for sure
Speaker:I mean there's targeted massages
Speaker:and there's like relaxation one
Speaker:so that's like such a multifaceted question
Speaker:it's a great question
Speaker:so for just relaxation purposes
Speaker:massages are amazing
Speaker:they help release all of your positive hormones
Speaker:and it helps people relax
Speaker:it helps with their mental state
Speaker:so like massages just duo
Speaker:you're right you could argue
Speaker:I feel like she's looking for a definitive medical
Speaker:you're right if it's relaxes you
Speaker:that's your argument right there
Speaker:is that that is good for your health
Speaker:well
Speaker:I think people think that mental health is invisible
Speaker:you can't see the ailment
Speaker:yeah but we've actually proven that like
Speaker:if you're really depressed or anxious
Speaker:people with PTSD other medical comorbidities
Speaker:with mental health relations
Speaker:they can have physical manifestations
Speaker:okay let me break that down easier
Speaker:so
Speaker:yes
Speaker:if you're sad your back can hurt
Speaker:sure if you are depressed
Speaker:you can't orgasm hmm
Speaker:a lot of times you're depressed
Speaker:cause no one will let you orgasm
Speaker:with them with them
Speaker:I should have known that was coming
Speaker:well you know
Speaker:you know I believe you about the back
Speaker:I had back injury that was cured completely
Speaker:start for another time by what I think was a
Speaker:was a mental thing doctor sir
Speaker:no healing back pain
Speaker:yeah so
Speaker:I think that like
Speaker:a lot of it is mental more than physical
Speaker:but mental ties into physical
Speaker:like we'll see muscle tensity
Speaker:tension headaches
Speaker:muscle spasms in your upper neck and your
Speaker:your traps
Speaker:like everybody sits like this when they're like upset
Speaker:right at work or they're hunched over a computer
Speaker:and I see a lot of spasms
Speaker:and I have to do trigger point injection
Speaker:so that's basically I I
Speaker:I stick needles in people with like
Speaker:numbing medication and steroids
Speaker:to decrease the inflammation in the pain
Speaker:and that's often times tied to a mental state
Speaker:like
Speaker:they might not even need it if you could somehow go hey
Speaker:a lot of this is a distress psychological
Speaker:but it's so
Speaker:I find that people think
Speaker:it's degrading and embarrassing to admit that
Speaker:so instead of saying
Speaker:I need to see a therapist
Speaker:or have medication to help with my mood
Speaker:they see a chiropractor they see a massage therapist
Speaker:right they see physical therapy
Speaker:and they fix the inherent like
Speaker:or the immediate problem I should say right
Speaker:but they don't fix the underlying
Speaker:etiology of why you have that in the first place
Speaker:right treating the symptom
Speaker:not treating the root cause so massages as a benefit
Speaker:absolutely now
Speaker:that's just talking about the psychosomatic part of it
Speaker:if you're gonna talk about like
Speaker:physiological properties
Speaker:of course massages are beneficial
Speaker:you have a muscle spasm you have tension
Speaker:you have a physiological ailment
Speaker:especially if you're asymmetrical
Speaker:like you know how shitty it is if you have a problem
Speaker:like for example your left hip is out yeah
Speaker:what do you think your body does
Speaker:what does your right hip do
Speaker:it's like fuck you yeah look at you
Speaker:so then your right hip takes over all the other shit
Speaker:and it gets stress and strain and pressure
Speaker:and now you have bilateral symptoms
Speaker:yet you can't even stand because it hurts so bad
Speaker:so her boyfriend can fuck off
Speaker:there's her husband boyfriend
Speaker:I forgot because it is not wasting money
Speaker:this is absolutely to be a waste of money at all
Speaker:and hands down something good
Speaker:there's it says follow up here it says Part B
Speaker:it's a waste of money
Speaker:plans are going up that's okay
Speaker:I think it's a waste of money waste of money
Speaker:you do it
Speaker:hoping it will fix all of your physical problems
Speaker:when there's absolutely no way that it can gotcha
Speaker:so waste of money
Speaker:only if you think it might fix all of your
Speaker:all of your problems
Speaker:there's no way you can no think about it this way
Speaker:some people hey
Speaker:by the way these lines are going up
Speaker:I was getting out of the shower once in that happened
Speaker:and I did not know
Speaker:I didn't know how any of it operated
Speaker:and I was standing here naked
Speaker:sometimes your mom's out in the backyard
Speaker:I remember when I ran
Speaker:and I squished my boobs against the window
Speaker:and I was like hello
Speaker:I do remember that and then I shut the blinds
Speaker:I'm sorry
Speaker:they have a mind of their own just like your penis
Speaker:so I think the only problem with the massage is
Speaker:if
Speaker:people think that it can accomplish more than they can
Speaker:gotcha okay you have a true spinal
Speaker:like improper fusion or stenosis
Speaker:that's impinging on a nerve root
Speaker:it's not a cure actually yeah
Speaker:so if you have a really bad problem
Speaker:that you need neurosurgical involvement
Speaker:and intervention for yeah
Speaker:massage isn't gonna fix like even sciatica
Speaker:it might make you feel a little bit better
Speaker:but we might need to get into cspine
Speaker:I think physical therapy and exercises can help
Speaker:but also massage doesn't hurt that right
Speaker:it it's used as an additive
Speaker:massage only hurts when you use it as
Speaker:I won't do anything else
Speaker:when really your body needs like something
Speaker:pretty aggressive follow up
Speaker:it says it says
Speaker:would you get mad if I got a happy ending
Speaker:this from Jamie I would get mad at that
Speaker:I'm just reading the question
Speaker:why is that even a fucking question
Speaker:I don't know where that question
Speaker:no I'm totally cool with you fucking the maid
Speaker:I would not get out
Speaker:I would not be interested in the happy ending
Speaker:I changed it up to anything in our life
Speaker:why would it ever be okay with you
Speaker:having sex with someone else
Speaker:by the way first of all
Speaker:what if I was getting a discount
Speaker:no
Speaker:I wanna be a discount with what fucking massage there
Speaker:I'm at the maid I was going with the maid
Speaker:I was wondering if there's any
Speaker:why would they take money off in all
Speaker:you touch your penis no offense
Speaker:I was that's right
Speaker:it'd be more it's like
Speaker:why was it five thousand dollars to clean the house
Speaker:Jamie yeah
Speaker:so look at that shit
Speaker:it was a thousand to clean the house
Speaker:4 thousand to not tell anybody
Speaker:keep it to yourself hold on
Speaker:would you get mad if someone got a happy ending
Speaker:hundred percent right do women get happy endings
Speaker:they ever go hey yeah okay
Speaker:now I'm fucking mad why I get more
Speaker:you know I get massages every month
Speaker:is there even a there's no happy ending for women
Speaker:I've never been offered one
Speaker:but you got a professional place
Speaker:what's wrong with me I've never been offered one either
Speaker:so where are you going
Speaker:nightly better places
Speaker:I said
Speaker:oh no do you mean you're a liar
Speaker:haha
Speaker:I don't think I've ever been offered a happy ending
Speaker:oh shit when when you were in Asia you said oh
Speaker:it was sketchy and that stuff could have happened
Speaker:and you shot it down no yeah
Speaker:I remember that vaguely well
Speaker:I thought you three things one
Speaker:I've never been offered a happy ending
Speaker:and I go to massages well
Speaker:I'm gonna change that maybe it's like the facility
Speaker:like they just would never offer that
Speaker:I don't go like around an alleyway and I'm like
Speaker:oh $10 right but $50 you can need me out however
Speaker:what you think they should charge more
Speaker:no I think that's a fair price okay
Speaker:all right well
Speaker:your turn so offered one no
Speaker:you told me that you were like
Speaker:in the vicinity of like the rub and tug
Speaker:yeah you know
Speaker:I thought you were talking about this one time
Speaker:but what makes me mad is as a woman
Speaker:it's never happened to me
Speaker:I don't want one
Speaker:but what a double stereotype there double standard
Speaker:like I'm professional I just need my back to not hurt
Speaker:but you go in and you're like
Speaker:I don't even have a back
Speaker:I just have a dick and balls right
Speaker:you find them
Speaker:I think a lot of times they don't even
Speaker:I don't know much about this
Speaker:they call them Robin Tugs in upstate New York
Speaker:God no I don't think they even massage you
Speaker:like some of these serious yeah
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:I think there's one some of them are just like
Speaker:it's a front for massage okay
Speaker:well you're from New York
Speaker:and you partially live in New York
Speaker:New York with Gutfeld right
Speaker:uh huh so
Speaker:where do you go for massages when you're in New York
Speaker:the only time you're actually gonna say it
Speaker:I've ever gotten a massage in New York
Speaker:I was when she had her hand on your balls no
Speaker:this is a man and you might you might know the story
Speaker:but I'm gonna tell you again
Speaker:you can pretend you never the hose yeah
Speaker:well you can't
Speaker:you can tell me
Speaker:your mom's here at the beginning of the show
Speaker:spoiler alert so right
Speaker:it's really like that
Speaker:you're gonna say this one out loud
Speaker:so I go to my cold plunge place
Speaker:they have cold plunge and saunas
Speaker:it's my favorite place in New York City
Speaker:I like it so much
Speaker:I'm not gonna even say the name of it
Speaker:cause I don't want a bunch of people to go there
Speaker:if you wanna DM me I'm happy to tell you about this
Speaker:amazing place in New York City
Speaker:where you could do cold plunges and saunas
Speaker:okay
Speaker:you're cutting right to the what happened is they go
Speaker:would you they always come in they go
Speaker:you want any services today
Speaker:and the services are like they beat you with that leaf
Speaker:right that's like a leaf thing no
Speaker:don't say right like this is common
Speaker:I've never been beaten by vegetation yeah
Speaker:there's a thing at the cold plunged place
Speaker:the bathhouse where they beat with these leaves
Speaker:and it's really funny to do that's in public
Speaker:you do it in front of people
Speaker:and then there's another one that's like a
Speaker:it's these giant leaves and they pour hot water on you
Speaker:oh yeah yeah
Speaker:it's it's a I don't know what it does
Speaker:but they like fuck you Jamie
Speaker:yeah it's very aggressive
Speaker:but it's like you know
Speaker:then they massage you and you're in this hot song
Speaker:it's fun and they always say
Speaker:do you want any services and I always say no
Speaker:I say no
Speaker:and then one day I had a great appearance on Gutfeld
Speaker:I had nothing to that day and I go
Speaker:I'm going to treat myself and I look at the little
Speaker:there's like a little menu and I go and get a massage
Speaker:hmm now you've never
Speaker:you're obviously a woman and you've got massages
Speaker:I'm a man who get rarely gets massages
Speaker:and I go into a very very private room
Speaker:and the first thing that struck me is
Speaker:a little bit suspicious was
Speaker:the guy goes okay
Speaker:take all your clothes off
Speaker:but I'm like you know what
Speaker:I think sometimes you take all your clothes off
Speaker:and they put you know
Speaker:they put the sheet
Speaker:do you know they put the sheet over you
Speaker:no like you take your clothes off
Speaker:clothes off in a like locker room and put a robe on
Speaker:you don't just like
Speaker:fucking strip down with a person there
Speaker:yeah I did it within that
Speaker:and but you know
Speaker:they put the cloth over your private parts
Speaker:like they like a cloth like a sheet
Speaker:no yeah
Speaker:they did what do you mean
Speaker:but you're naked on the table
Speaker:they put there's a blanket
Speaker:you're not naked during a massage
Speaker:so they leave
Speaker:and then I take everything off
Speaker:and then I get under like on the table
Speaker:I put a sheet over myself
Speaker:yes so what I'm saying
Speaker:there is no one present during
Speaker:I understand but after you take off your clothes
Speaker:banana leaf after you take off your clothes
Speaker:you're in there and I'm just saying it's covered
Speaker:you're covered now with a fucking loincloth apparently
Speaker:I at least have a whole sheath
Speaker:why do you just have like a or sheath
Speaker:no I don't have any
Speaker:this is a separate service
Speaker:the leaf is a separate service in the massage
Speaker:and so still lost but okay
Speaker:I'm just saying I'm naked on the table
Speaker:and sometimes
Speaker:you absolutely will be naked during a massage
Speaker:you are but
Speaker:you have a sheet covering your most delicate of areas
Speaker:my whole body no sheet
Speaker:I'm laying on a table where was the sheet
Speaker:there's no sheet there is no sheet
Speaker:I was asking you around for it
Speaker:of course of course
Speaker:I was I was laying on a dirt no
Speaker:I'm very uncomfortable with this
Speaker:I'm like this I want just a massage
Speaker:and there's a guy that you didn't end it
Speaker:and no I felt like
Speaker:maybe this is what happens at the Turkish bathhouse
Speaker:and I'm trying to have an open mind
Speaker:and so I'm laying on this table
Speaker:no sheet no and I got it's my ass though
Speaker:it's just my ass and so the guy face down face down
Speaker:okay okay okay okay I'll give you that yeah
Speaker:and it hurts it hurts because I'm very hard no
Speaker:I'm gonna be serious for a minute
Speaker:I'm so uncomfortable
Speaker:and I'm laying with a face down on the table and I go
Speaker:what is happening
Speaker:but they're beating people with leaves that's unusual
Speaker:maybe
Speaker:this is something they do with the Turkish bathhouse
Speaker:now I'm not familiar just you
Speaker:it's just me in a tiny room
Speaker:but it's like a like a bathroom like a stall
Speaker:you can feel under over
Speaker:it's real shitty all around the balls yeah
Speaker:and so funny you should say that
Speaker:funny you should say that this is true story
Speaker:he starts massaging me and he's getting dangerously
Speaker:dangerously close to my package and I'm like wow
Speaker:this is uncomfortable
Speaker:but I'm face down so then he goes
Speaker:this feels so dumb not telling you this
Speaker:because I should have left
Speaker:but I but I kept thinking
Speaker:maybe this is the way things are done
Speaker:so guess what he says to me
Speaker:he goes turn over on your back
Speaker:and I'm hesitant and he goes relax gross relax okay
Speaker:I just
Speaker:the way you say that he was massaging me
Speaker:and at one point
Speaker:he picked up my penis and moved it over to the side
Speaker:to massage he was like
Speaker:oh massage is like
Speaker:like just the inside of my groin
Speaker:I can massage like
Speaker:I can leave the area between your leg and your balls
Speaker:yeah did you move your balls
Speaker:no no
Speaker:no he moved
Speaker:it was like this and he goes and he goes like this
Speaker:it was like he's trying to be like so lie about it
Speaker:but why didn't he have like a towel or something
Speaker:just throw it over all the junk and move it out
Speaker:well he should have
Speaker:I think that's what the what the thing was and um
Speaker:do you wanna know
Speaker:so I've told you already this whole thing is sketchy
Speaker:but please continue and so I'm gonna tell you
Speaker:I'm gonna tell you the kind of person I am
Speaker:okay so to back up
Speaker:he takes a hose and kind of washes
Speaker:like my button stuff which I don't remember
Speaker:you're so flipped face down at this point no
Speaker:I'm back on face up now how do you wash your ass
Speaker:then he went under yeah eww
Speaker:you didn't tell me that
Speaker:I know you wrote a root of the shit out of yourself
Speaker:he really did he Jesus
Speaker:I hope you tipped him all funny you should ask that
Speaker:that's what I wanna ask you
Speaker:that's what I wanna ask you
Speaker:I mean you can't give him like 100 bucks and he's like
Speaker:well here's the thing
Speaker:he hoses me two bucks he'll be like
Speaker:what did I do wrong he hoses me off
Speaker:I'm so now I'm very uncomfortable
Speaker:this whole thing makes me uncomfortable
Speaker:I'm so uncomfortable and I go
Speaker:I just gotta get out of here
Speaker:and so I go to leave and I'm leaving and I go
Speaker:I'm never ever doing that again
Speaker:I might never come back here again
Speaker:oh ho ho ho
Speaker:and I'm leaving and they go
Speaker:oh you gotta pay
Speaker:do you know I'm such a nice guy
Speaker:leave him
Speaker:I leave him a 20% tip for what I think is close
Speaker:is that the appropriate part though
Speaker:like think about it
Speaker:I I genuinely believe this
Speaker:if you left a huge tip he'd be like
Speaker:oh he want more next time yeah
Speaker:if you left nothing he'd be offended like
Speaker:oh God but why do I care if this man's offending
Speaker:offended
Speaker:he just did what I think feels very inappropriate
Speaker:even for another culture
Speaker:the whole thing was inappropriate okay
Speaker:so I still tipped 20% so it was a horrible experience
Speaker:you got fondled you shouldn't have been
Speaker:it was not good for my health
Speaker:you didn't he didn't even ask for like consent
Speaker:he just did it yeah
Speaker:that's the part that bothers me oh
Speaker:he never said like oh
Speaker:is this okay no
Speaker:he just was more presumed relax okay
Speaker:so all of that sucks but this is my question for you
Speaker:did you cancel your membership
Speaker:no I go there all the time
Speaker:well the
Speaker:but the membership is for the bat
Speaker:like this is just an extra Jamie sure
Speaker:I bet I'm yep you took me there once
Speaker:I'm the only straight guy in there
Speaker:I'm one of a few straight guys
Speaker:so maybe it's my fault maybe this is like a
Speaker:I think you need to find a new Turkish bathhouse
Speaker:hey the place we went to was really cool
Speaker:and they were respectful the other one yeah
Speaker:you and me
Speaker:we went to two of them just to just to clarify
Speaker:we went to the place that I we didn't
Speaker:we walked outside the one where we had services
Speaker:where we actually did shit yes
Speaker:yes
Speaker:and we were naked and nobody and we were together naked
Speaker:no one did anything inappropriate
Speaker:and then we were like all those like
Speaker:pools and like summer professionals
Speaker:and nothing happened
Speaker:so I think that you're just in the wrong place yeah
Speaker:and I think that we're sure that guy needs to be kept
Speaker:you know
Speaker:I was in the wrong place that fucking hose his hand
Speaker:his hand the hose
Speaker:his mouth where is his mouth okay
Speaker:I'll space up I can see what was face up
Speaker:I said where was his mouth no
Speaker:no I mean I could see he said I was face up I mean
Speaker:I could see him with that face up all right
Speaker:wow
Speaker:isn't it weird though let me ask you this before we met
Speaker:thank goodness here's what I think is
Speaker:one of the most intriguing parts of that story is
Speaker:why do we feel like we need to
Speaker:I get people go like
Speaker:I don't wanna tip everybody for just making my coffee
Speaker:and it's bullshit I don't have a problem with that
Speaker:I feel like these are hard jobs
Speaker:and I'm gonna tip these folks
Speaker:and I don't care if they make me a black coffee
Speaker:they're getting a tip
Speaker:I don't mind I think about if it was my son
Speaker:I hope he get an extra dollar these jobs aren't easy
Speaker:actually really nice
Speaker:but I have a problem with the whole
Speaker:I tip people did fucking suck because I'm too nice
Speaker:this guy almost he probably did something
Speaker:that I could have complained about
Speaker:or maybe this is borderline
Speaker:and I tip him because I'm so nice no
Speaker:but that's your fault because you so go there
Speaker:uh huh so
Speaker:you're basically showing that you were still okay with
Speaker:overall your experience
Speaker:because you still attend that place
Speaker:and still pay a membership yeah
Speaker:but what about the tip part
Speaker:you ever get bad service and you still tip somebody
Speaker:have you ever left a zero
Speaker:I just got an Uber to a hotel
Speaker:and I was carrying a giant box
Speaker:and the guy wouldn't drop me off
Speaker:right in front of the hotel
Speaker:he was like I can't go in there
Speaker:should take me like a couple minutes to get out
Speaker:cause I go dude
Speaker:I have a giant box and he wouldn't why wouldn't he
Speaker:he just said he wouldn't
Speaker:he said he didn't wanna get stuck in there
Speaker:then fuck him you know
Speaker:when you drive into a hotel
Speaker:you're in like the valet thing
Speaker:I think people work really hard for their money
Speaker:and in general
Speaker:what you said like even if they make a black coffee
Speaker:they just tip because it's built into their salary
Speaker:the guy someone's a jerk
Speaker:that's a difference
Speaker:the guy that left me to walk with my box yeah
Speaker:I tipped him 20% well you're nice
Speaker:it's not nice though to to be feel like guilt once
Speaker:once one time I can remember writing on a Bill
Speaker:next time try not to be such a bitch wow
Speaker:and for you to write that
Speaker:I'm thinking this person was a huge bitch
Speaker:I feel really guilty that I did that it was awful
Speaker:I mean this woman yelled at us like screamed at us
Speaker:refused to serve us served other people
Speaker:we've been there for three hours
Speaker:three hours wow
Speaker:and she actually came up and said like
Speaker:they weren't even that busy and she was just like
Speaker:what I took a smoke break like horrible
Speaker:like horrible and she was mean
Speaker:like she threw threw our plate down and said
Speaker:here you go and we didn't even complain
Speaker:where were you I was in Las Vegas Jeez
Speaker:right before I saw thunder from down under
Speaker:thunder from down under
Speaker:the fuck sorry was us trying guys yes
Speaker:it was a dinner with my friend Bonnie
Speaker:right before you guys
Speaker:I told you
Speaker:I used to share a dressing room with the Thunder
Speaker:you did I think it's so great yeah
Speaker:I feel like you are so perfect
Speaker:and they were probably like
Speaker:what the fuck is in this guy
Speaker:in our show I just never came up
Speaker:but it makes me happy that like
Speaker:not a million women rubbed you raw
Speaker:I remember I was at the Catch Rising Star 20 years ago
Speaker:and I it was my first time headlining Vegas
Speaker:and I went downstairs and there was the biggest line
Speaker:to get into the showroom when I go
Speaker:this is Vegas I have made it
Speaker:this is amazing and they go the green rooms there
Speaker:and I go in and there are men
Speaker:ripped men oiling each other up
Speaker:and I go fuck is this
Speaker:and come to find out there's no one at my show
Speaker:every single woman in line is there
Speaker:see the thunder from down under okay
Speaker:so no penises at the
Speaker:thunder from down under is just covered up
Speaker:it's either they're clothed
Speaker:did they flop it out
Speaker:no no
Speaker:it's fine I just never been I got pulled on stage
Speaker:oh good
Speaker:haha
Speaker:it's weird that I'm the one that got asked to do it
Speaker:you're the one that did it
Speaker:I was really nervous
Speaker:I didn't think they pulled me on stage
Speaker:it was a bachelorette party for a girl
Speaker:I didn't even know and I just went
Speaker:cause like she was a friend of a friend of a friend
Speaker:and they chose me out of the audience
Speaker:and I got very nervous and I just laid there
Speaker:there's a definitely did things you can just
Speaker:you cannot answer this if you don't want to
Speaker:I don't like this
Speaker:you cannot answer this if you don't want to
Speaker:okay I was just gonna say what say we get married
Speaker:I'm just throwing out a super super just that case
Speaker:say a person gets married to somebody
Speaker:and you find out at the bachelorette party
Speaker:there were someone hired a couple strippers
Speaker:I would be upset about that
Speaker:would you eat what if I had nothing to do with it
Speaker:and they try to surprise
Speaker:because your friends are assholes
Speaker:and I don't understand the truthfully
Speaker:I do not understand the basher bachelorette party
Speaker:especially when it's the night before the last hurrah
Speaker:I have to see other vaginas and boobs
Speaker:and dicks and malls no
Speaker:if you're happy you don't need like a last hurrah
Speaker:it's for all your single friends who are
Speaker:pieces of shit
Speaker:who wanna justify to their girlfriends and boyfriends
Speaker:that they wanted to go fuck around
Speaker:if you're getting married
Speaker:you don't need that do you know that
Speaker:if you do then you shouldn't get married
Speaker:so you're not alone in this thinking
Speaker:there's a an article just came out about a year ago
Speaker:we covered it on Gutfeld that said there is this
Speaker:there is this wave of people
Speaker:this new generation of people
Speaker:that completely agree with you
Speaker:that think the bachelorette party
Speaker:in the bachelor party
Speaker:are causing some people to get divorced oh
Speaker:it's extremely archaic because of what happens is
Speaker:so they're saying no more no
Speaker:they're not gonna do it anymore what about a dowry
Speaker:there's
Speaker:so many things that are associated with marriage
Speaker:the white wedding dress because the woman is pure
Speaker:but the guy can wear fucking black cause he's a slut
Speaker:pain the man so the white is
Speaker:cause you're supposed to be pure and virgins are white
Speaker:when my when I got married to my ex wife
Speaker:I thought she had fallen on the way in
Speaker:that's how it wasn't white it was covered with
Speaker:that's how um interesting
Speaker:so I think that bashra and bashtrip parts
Speaker:and I've done a joint one with one of my friends
Speaker:I actually organized the whole thing
Speaker:I think that's a good relationship
Speaker:joint bachelor bachelor of guys fight though
Speaker:because he got a lap dance and went upstairs oh
Speaker:it a strip club known
Speaker:I thought you meant bachelor bachelorette party
Speaker:we have a party no
Speaker:they went to a strip club in Vegas
Speaker:I changed my mind I think if you have I would never
Speaker:you're not ready to
Speaker:I would never do that don't have that kind of
Speaker:but that's the thing
Speaker:like if you wanna do it whatever to each their own
Speaker:but if you wanna do that
Speaker:you're not ready to get married
Speaker:like why do you have to have one last vagina
Speaker:like I feel like it's extremely disrespectful yeah
Speaker:you're
Speaker:how would you feel if like the night before I was like
Speaker:I just need one more dick on my face yikes
Speaker:I didn't know it was gonna escalate to that well
Speaker:one more makes me really um
Speaker:I would not like it no
Speaker:no I would not like it
Speaker:I think that I when I hate strip clubs in general
Speaker:so they can go fuck themselves
Speaker:but uh
Speaker:I I think that
Speaker:the whole premise of a bachelor bachelorette party
Speaker:needs to end to be quite honest
Speaker:you should be celebrating your nuptials
Speaker:and happy with the other person
Speaker:you don't have to like go out on the whim to like
Speaker:fuck somebody I feel like if you had a video
Speaker:when you're invoking a lot of temptation
Speaker:when it doesn't need to be absolutely
Speaker:absolutely I think that if you had a video
Speaker:just hypothetically of the way a guy
Speaker:his bachelor party went I'll bet
Speaker:there's a correlation between
Speaker:how the bachelor party was
Speaker:versus how the relationship is well
Speaker:and think about this too
Speaker:if you go to a bachelor party and you're like
Speaker:having fun and you go crazy and you drink a lot
Speaker:which I mean let's be honest
Speaker:that's usually what happens the only reason you go
Speaker:but then you wake up and you're fucking hungover
Speaker:for your wedding yeah yeah
Speaker:I've heard stories I'm sure you have too
Speaker:of like how the wedding was fucking destroyed
Speaker:because the guy was a piece of shit
Speaker:barfing at the aisle yeah
Speaker:like falling over have you ever heard that story
Speaker:and then the other spouse
Speaker:and I'm not always saying it's the guy
Speaker:the woman is just as guilty
Speaker:if she goes on a bachelorette party and gets shit
Speaker:canned and for disaster
Speaker:and is like oh I saw 500 dicks last night yeah
Speaker:I love you it's a recipe for disaster
Speaker:I need a temptation bad idea
Speaker:we're not in favor I had a um
Speaker:when I got married I had a
Speaker:do you have one we hired a stripper in Alaska wait
Speaker:wait wait
Speaker:wait wait wait
Speaker:wait wait
Speaker:hold on is this true and look at me look at me wait
Speaker:we are stripping Alaska
Speaker:and I think you're scared to look at me
Speaker:she was true she was hourly and we
Speaker:by the time she got her snow pants off
Speaker:we're out of money
Speaker:alright tell me the truth
Speaker:no no
Speaker:sorry I ruined your joke
Speaker:I ruined your joke
Speaker:but I honestly thought you were like trying
Speaker:I'm being insanely silly alright
Speaker:did you have a bachelor party
Speaker:didn't have bachelor I did have a bachelor party
Speaker:did you now I did have a bachelor party
Speaker:tell me the detail it was not great
Speaker:a friend of mine organized it and when I got there
Speaker:it was a there were like 10 guys there
Speaker:and I only knew two of them
Speaker:that's dumb and then they were trying to hire a girl
Speaker:they were trying to hire like a stripper
Speaker:and then there
Speaker:the negotiations broke down and there was never um
Speaker:no one ever came
Speaker:so was it like someone's house in Vegas
Speaker:had drinks in Las Vegas what you do then
Speaker:just gambled
Speaker:well that's what you get
Speaker:but that's a fun bachelor party
Speaker:that's what it should be
Speaker:did you hear the part where they try to get the girl
Speaker:and the negotiations broke down
Speaker:fell through and I think that's cool
Speaker:you know what I think is fun
Speaker:why can't a last hurrah b
Speaker:I'm single with my friends
Speaker:having fun without the responsibility
Speaker:to check in with my significant other
Speaker:like I don't think that's disrespectful because
Speaker:you know
Speaker:you mean like a night off of of being with this person
Speaker:you mean just like a guys night
Speaker:like a last day of freedom haha yeah
Speaker:I feel like in a way that's not disrespectful
Speaker:because it's exactly reciprocal for the other gender
Speaker:like I'd love one night off from you
Speaker:but not because I don't like you and I need a space
Speaker:but it's a concept of like once you're married
Speaker:you check in every night
Speaker:and this is the silly silly like oh
Speaker:let's go have fun let's stay out late
Speaker:let's do a girls night in mind
Speaker:you girls nights are like spas and fucking
Speaker:laughing at strippers we're not fuck like
Speaker:should you not be able to do that though once married
Speaker:shouldn't you or you mean like symbolically
Speaker:that you're kind of symbolically
Speaker:because we have to eradicate the notion of the basher
Speaker:bachelorette party of strippers
Speaker:and the last time you could have sex
Speaker:I mean
Speaker:I think a lot of people actually embrace the like
Speaker:this is the last day
Speaker:that I can't have sex with anyone else
Speaker:so let's fucking go all out
Speaker:like how would you feel if if I fucked someone that I
Speaker:before we got married
Speaker:and I think that that has really changed
Speaker:I would
Speaker:I would hate it even if it was any day before after we
Speaker:yeah I think it's changed
Speaker:I don't think a lot of people do that now
Speaker:but some people still do because they don't have that
Speaker:the ring on their finger
Speaker:they don't have the the piece of paper
Speaker:I think we need to
Speaker:as a society migrate into emotional maturity
Speaker:which good luck with that shit
Speaker:but whatever people need to like
Speaker:if you're gonna get married
Speaker:be nice to your spouse
Speaker:you don't have to fuck other people
Speaker:you don't have to think about fucking other people
Speaker:you don't have to look at a dick
Speaker:I hate the like
Speaker:cheesiness of like penis popsicles and penis straws oh
Speaker:so do I penis is on a fucking veil
Speaker:I love Jesus Christ first of all
Speaker:I never want a dick near my face ever uh huh uh huh
Speaker:it's true look
Speaker:ever I never want a dick near my face okay
Speaker:let alone a veil
Speaker:but why is it this commodity where I have to have dick
Speaker:ice cubes you know it's weird for a man it's like no
Speaker:give me an actual pussy yeah
Speaker:it is weird too though that you're right
Speaker:it is weird to the
Speaker:that the girls love to do little penis things
Speaker:you don't see guys pouring like
Speaker:gravy out of a big vagina thing
Speaker:why is it gravy the only thing I could think of
Speaker:that was shaped like a vagina
Speaker:the gravy thing in Thanksgiving gravy
Speaker:my whole this whole time
Speaker:I've been trying to think of
Speaker:what could be shaped like a vagina gravy
Speaker:great what is it called
Speaker:do you know how many foods and flowers
Speaker:and things in nature look like
Speaker:a vagina and a vulva
Speaker:by the way get it right
Speaker:Vagina is the entrance and the muscles
Speaker:that surround everything and are internal externals
Speaker:vulva so 1
Speaker:name it correctly get it right 2
Speaker:a gravy fucking boat it's all I can think of really
Speaker:yeah is it like white gravy with a pepper with biscuits
Speaker:or is it like thick brown shit
Speaker:it's what's coming out of my vagina right now
Speaker:so I can think of what one
Speaker:it's all I can think of was though
Speaker:but you're right women
Speaker:you made a great point
Speaker:you said women want to have the penis pops first
Speaker:and all the things and
Speaker:wow okay
Speaker:gravy boat it's all I could think of
Speaker:I was trying to think like
Speaker:curtains for every Thanksgiving
Speaker:going there curtains
Speaker:um
Speaker:Wanna hear one more question for somebody
Speaker:no okay
Speaker:I mean I guess so
Speaker:but I'm still thinking of like
Speaker:fucking a can of thick beef
Speaker:chunky gravy
Speaker:and you associate that to my wonderfulness
Speaker:that was not my intention
Speaker:well you fucking said it
Speaker:only I can think of a shape like a Volvo
Speaker:Volvo Volvo
Speaker:did you just call me a car
Speaker:not trying to do this on purpose flustered
Speaker:hey everyone listening
Speaker:Jamie is now a new virgin indefinitely
Speaker:I'm not even joking
Speaker:fucking masturbate with a can of gravy
Speaker:I'm gonna go buy you one Heinz
Speaker:all right jerk your beef
Speaker:I heard this question fuck off
Speaker:it actually made me upset
Speaker:ready no
Speaker:I'm still recovering are you
Speaker:yeah super offensive
Speaker:oh I'm sorry
Speaker:it's all I could think of
Speaker:I don't say that to you but you're right
Speaker:we don't have penis the men of the penis popsicles
Speaker:no herbs sorry
Speaker:the women have all the penis accoutrements
Speaker:and the guys actually go out
Speaker:and sometimes sleep with an actual woman
Speaker:that you made a great point
Speaker:with that one
Speaker:nope you're still in our house
Speaker:all I'm hearing is gravy gravy gravy
Speaker:I'm almost 70 and I'm happy to say my thing still works
Speaker:will I wake up one day and it won't
Speaker:well I hope Jamie
Speaker:yes one day it stops when he talks about gravy boats
Speaker:also is there an upper limit on Viagra
Speaker:this is a great question I don't wanna go there
Speaker:I'm mad at you for gravy bumps
Speaker:yeah that's all I can think of
Speaker:I offended it's all I can think of
Speaker:we can delete it let it out of our lives
Speaker:I wish we could go back and edit it out of our
Speaker:of real life and your Fox
Speaker:you can't it's ingrained
Speaker:yes men can't have sex after a certain age
Speaker:and every man is different
Speaker:but eventually they become impotent
Speaker:which is why sodenophyl for example
Speaker:Viagra xialis
Speaker:are great options for men to achieve its insane
Speaker:or an erection and orgasm
Speaker:the problem is women
Speaker:their spouses have vaginal dryness post menopause
Speaker:and a lot of men selfishly just wanna fuck
Speaker:and they don't realize that their partner is dry
Speaker:and also has vaginal atrophy
Speaker:as you age and you lose female dominated hormones
Speaker:such as estrogen I love you
Speaker:your external vulvar region actually thins
Speaker:it becomes like paper thin
Speaker:like crepe paper yeah
Speaker:and it can sheer bleed become extremely painful
Speaker:urintroidous
Speaker:the opening of your vagina can become smaller
Speaker:tighter and very difficult to expand
Speaker:so now you have a man who goes to his doctor and says
Speaker:I want Viagra
Speaker:and the doctor is like I can fix you
Speaker:and then you have a woman who is in fucking pain
Speaker:and the guy wants to fucking go inside
Speaker:and it rips her open and she bleeds
Speaker:and it why don't we use
Speaker:uh don't we
Speaker:isn't that a that sounds like a weird circumstance
Speaker:between two people that don't communicate
Speaker:it's extremely common oh
Speaker:why don't we go hey
Speaker:it's unfortunate women are embarrassed to admit that
Speaker:they lose the ability to have pleasureful sex
Speaker:much earlier than men they do
Speaker:I thought it was women later men
Speaker:it's marketed as oh
Speaker:you want a better erection
Speaker:ask your doctor about this
Speaker:or they can't even say low testosterone
Speaker:or impotence or erectile dysfunction
Speaker:they say low t hmm
Speaker:it's cute it's cute
Speaker:because you're all dumbasses who can't admit that you
Speaker:sorry I'm angry
Speaker:because you can't admit that
Speaker:like you have a medical problem
Speaker:just own it but women walk in with eye
Speaker:vaginal dryness eye of pain
Speaker:whatever but most of my female patients will say
Speaker:I'm embarrassed because I'm not fulfilling my husband
Speaker:my male patients come in and say
Speaker:I can't fucking get an erection
Speaker:so how old do you think 70s and 80s
Speaker:and the problem is there's not a good
Speaker:communicative response between both of my patients
Speaker:the women feel guilty
Speaker:they're not so satisfying their partner
Speaker:the men are unhappy they can't have an orgasm
Speaker:do you see the difference
Speaker:the men are saying I can't please my wife
Speaker:the women are saying I can't please my husband
Speaker:so there's this correlation
Speaker:and then on top of that then the men are like
Speaker:well give me the medicine that gets my dick hard
Speaker:and I'm like well
Speaker:I can here's all the risks
Speaker:benefits and side effects
Speaker:and then I prescribe it but often you have to say
Speaker:can you look at your partner and see what she needs to
Speaker:yeah I was gonna say
Speaker:why would you want to have awesome sex
Speaker:if it hurts the love of your life
Speaker:of course and I was gonna say
Speaker:as a doctor if it that
Speaker:is that something you would do
Speaker:you would say you would
Speaker:you would say hey
Speaker:before this happens I wanna let you know
Speaker:this thing's gonna be in good shape
Speaker:medicine is gonna work
Speaker:make sure use a little lubrication yeah
Speaker:make sure you talk to your person
Speaker:cause if a woman can say
Speaker:maybe you could step in and give that advice
Speaker:well that's what upsets me
Speaker:and if it was the opposite gender
Speaker:I would feel equally upset that like
Speaker:it's such a sensitive issue
Speaker:people are embarrassed to ask about
Speaker:it doesn't matter who it is
Speaker:if one person is uncomfortable
Speaker:you have to make sure that their needs are met too
Speaker:and they don't feel embarrassed to tell you
Speaker:their needs so yeah
Speaker:I absolutely have conversations with men
Speaker:I I mean
Speaker:I do women's health so I don't see a lot of men
Speaker:but when I do yeah
Speaker:you have to say listen
Speaker:I'm gonna help you but let me ask you this question
Speaker:so the question is like I'm almost 70 right
Speaker:still works so you're saying it will still work
Speaker:these are like
Speaker:other things we should make sure we're being aware of
Speaker:and maybe you're even saying
Speaker:that's not the question
Speaker:he should necessarily be focused on right
Speaker:like
Speaker:is there is there a time that you wake up
Speaker:and is this like a sex drive thing
Speaker:I don't want to or is this like
Speaker:I can't get it to this is a real
Speaker:it's a real thing
Speaker:that got me thinking when I saw this question
Speaker:cause I was like it's so interesting that sex
Speaker:and having sex seems like such a big part of life that
Speaker:that one day you wake up
Speaker:and it wouldn't be part of life
Speaker:you know that it wouldn't be something you get to do
Speaker:or look forward to and it really got me
Speaker:thinking and I was gonna ask you
Speaker:I feel like it must have to
Speaker:obviously people are so different
Speaker:and by the time you're 70 or 80
Speaker:the choices you have made in your life are really
Speaker:we're really starting to see
Speaker:what kind of choices you made
Speaker:do you smoke and drink every day
Speaker:are you out of shape do you have you know
Speaker:high blood pressure do you have whatever
Speaker:I would guess
Speaker:the better you are at taking care of yourself
Speaker:this numbers higher like if I've been
Speaker:maybe that's a dumb obvious thing to say
Speaker:but I would say it's not dumb
Speaker:I do believe it's obvious
Speaker:if you think about um
Speaker:all of the reasons that people have impotence
Speaker:or difficulty even achieving an erection
Speaker:first place level on sustaining it
Speaker:and then having an orgasm
Speaker:age is part of it I mean
Speaker:unfortunately as we get older
Speaker:it's not as easy to happen
Speaker:that sucks right
Speaker:but yeah if you have diabetes
Speaker:high blood sugar high blood pressure
Speaker:um if you're more overly obese
Speaker:if you have hypertension
Speaker:chronic corbidities absolutely exacerbate the problem
Speaker:so yes there's a benefit to having a healthy lifestyle
Speaker:so Pablo Picasso was 68 when he had his last kid what
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:holy shit so I guess you just need to be a painter
Speaker:Pablo Vagaso the kid is 60 years old
Speaker:is that a world record I don't know
Speaker:look it up I don't know the world record
Speaker:but what I always reference that people ask me look
Speaker:am I old too old to have sex
Speaker:no absolutely enjoy the pleasure
Speaker:enjoy it
Speaker:and I think they're saying
Speaker:I don't know if I can't or I don't know if I can
Speaker:I'm sure they want to enjoy it
Speaker:but isn't it more like they're going
Speaker:do I wake up one day it doesn't work
Speaker:well the reason I reference that is not only could
Speaker:he could and would enjoy it
Speaker:like awesome but he
Speaker:he ejaculated if he had a kid at 68
Speaker:he did he didn't
Speaker:he didn't just have sex yeah
Speaker:which makes me feel very awkward
Speaker:I'm talking about renowned painter haze
Speaker:oh I would think can I now keep in mind
Speaker:I'm not a doctor phallus
Speaker:I would say old guy sperm not nearly is like
Speaker:as far as like what the kids gonna be like healthwise
Speaker:is gonna be not nearly as um
Speaker:important as the age of the woman
Speaker:well correct
Speaker:unfortunately women um
Speaker:with eggs I told you this in a previous podcast
Speaker:which I think is really interesting
Speaker:women are born with
Speaker:the amount of eggs that they will have
Speaker:for their entire life whereas men regenerate sperm
Speaker:your bodies keep creating sperm
Speaker:women don't keep creating eggs
Speaker:so like you have them for life
Speaker:so it's like bitcoin there's only so many
Speaker:really
Speaker:I don't know if that's how it works
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:okay
Speaker:you just compared my OVA to a bitcoin
Speaker:only in the sense that they're finite
Speaker:I think they only make some
Speaker:so you're saying that they're more like
Speaker:rare and beautiful exactly guarded
Speaker:exactly not that they changed the economy
Speaker:and probably will phase out soon
Speaker:I think it comes back up I don't know
Speaker:so the answer is it really
Speaker:really depends how
Speaker:women's eggs definitely do not last as long as men
Speaker:sperm as far as for your age specifically
Speaker:is much more dangerous
Speaker:for women to conceive after age 35
Speaker:and then after 40 or a cutoffs and then continuing
Speaker:man not so much yeah
Speaker:but that's part of it
Speaker:it increases the chance of like toratogenicity
Speaker:genetic abnormalities um
Speaker:obstetric complications essentially
Speaker:gotcha and so okay
Speaker:I kind of changed our subject there instead
Speaker:like having kids but I guess the point being
Speaker:try to be healthy and to just get it up
Speaker:yeah to just
Speaker:to just have sex go for it
Speaker:yeah yeah
Speaker:just make sure that your partner satisfied too
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:and to make the likelihood that you can still get up
Speaker:as you get older
Speaker:try to be healthy and do the stuff right exercise
Speaker:I'd be sad if you couldn't have sex with me
Speaker:when you were 70 that's way too
Speaker:not in like a couple years that's way too
Speaker:that's way too young
Speaker:that's way too young
Speaker:hey do you ever um
Speaker:I don't know if girls have this discussion but we
Speaker:you love that you love that one
Speaker:I well
Speaker:let's be honest if we're gonna go there
Speaker:it's not that I love that you're older
Speaker:it's me giving shit that you love younger women
Speaker:I don't love younger women really
Speaker:I've dated a few younger women
Speaker:and it was all their own mistakes
Speaker:you know 20s
Speaker:late 20s how old were you
Speaker:40s gross
Speaker:I know it was the biggest stage gap you ever had
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:um 15
Speaker:eww you fucking perv
Speaker:everyone was legal
Speaker:give me like her digits just so I can be like
Speaker:I'm sorry on his behalf
Speaker:um it was a mistake almost across the board honestly
Speaker:why did you like younger women
Speaker:I didn't it was just I didn't like them
Speaker:no you didn't
Speaker:I didn't like younger women
Speaker:it was uh
Speaker:it was just what happened every single time
Speaker:it was how I happen
Speaker:who I happen to meet every single time
Speaker:but it was a you've met older women too
Speaker:let's talk about your average age demographic
Speaker:for your Gutfeld show hmm true
Speaker:but that is kind of a newer
Speaker:newer phenomena for me oh okay
Speaker:so yeah so if it had been now
Speaker:I could have been like
Speaker:I only dated 7 year olds before you
Speaker:which I love my 7 year olds
Speaker:do not get me wrong love my fans 60
Speaker:70s and 80s as my people
Speaker:you saw them I like your fans
Speaker:they're the best shit no
Speaker:no they're the greatest women
Speaker:I'm not gonna talk shit about you
Speaker:I told you a lady message me
Speaker:they're awesome isn't this fine honest
Speaker:this lady message me she goes
Speaker:if I was she goes
Speaker:I told you she goes if I was 50 years younger
Speaker:I thought that was so funny
Speaker:cause usually people go like
Speaker:oh if I was 20 years younger she said fifty I go
Speaker:how old are you
Speaker:might be triple digits I thought that was very sweet
Speaker:I think that your fans are perfect
Speaker:you know I like your fans
Speaker:I like them
Speaker:because they are emotionally mature enough to like
Speaker:appreciate you for your art
Speaker:without like trying to well hold on
Speaker:I was gonna say without trying to grab your dick
Speaker:but you just have that happen
Speaker:who got your dick
Speaker:is it the older ones or the younger ones
Speaker:that was like a
Speaker:I would say you call like a cougar or something
Speaker:I would say like a 50s okay
Speaker:60s I think your fans are wonderful
Speaker:I think they're polite and respectful for the best
Speaker:minus the cougar
Speaker:do you know that you're grabbing Cougar
Speaker:I was at a show not fuck you dick grabbing cougar
Speaker:he's my boyfriend that's right
Speaker:but ass grabbing seems like more of an old woman thing
Speaker:oh you know why
Speaker:because I think a lot of grandmas will be like
Speaker:pincher cheese that's right
Speaker:or they'll like smack you on the butt almost like you
Speaker:silly boy and I think you're right
Speaker:I almost I don't feel like a sexual
Speaker:I still don't like it
Speaker:cause for you and me it feels sexual
Speaker:yeah but I wonder if we're 70 and 80 year olds
Speaker:it's almost like a oh
Speaker:go take your vitamins I think it's more silly
Speaker:yeah absolutely
Speaker:but I'm not justifying it
Speaker:that's your personal space
Speaker:but absolutely I was it um
Speaker:as a Minneapolis do they have whips too and handcuffs
Speaker:who my
Speaker:my fans well
Speaker:I mean that no
Speaker:this is just the whole thing
Speaker:just a pinch on the cheek in public
Speaker:the back cheek I had this cell that one
Speaker:it's happened more than once
Speaker:and it was absolutely before
Speaker:what do they do are they
Speaker:well I don't know
Speaker:set this legals you can't control that
Speaker:it's always when they're really drunk
Speaker:and they're with a bunch of people
Speaker:and they're like riled up
Speaker:and it's if it's women
Speaker:if it's a bunch of women together
Speaker:it's always crazy
Speaker:because I feel like when the Bachelorette party
Speaker:bullshit yeah
Speaker:cause I think if if guys are there
Speaker:same with a bunch of guys
Speaker:there's a drunk guys too but
Speaker:I think you have
Speaker:the checks and balances of having your partner there
Speaker:you don't get so crazy
Speaker:but this woman went up and she goes
Speaker:they're taking a picture with me and she grabs my
Speaker:like touches my stomach and I'm like
Speaker:I don't love that but whatever
Speaker:and then she goes and just grab she grabbed yeah
Speaker:I'm telling you
Speaker:I that's the problem and if that happens
Speaker:I'm always like at least buy a T-shirt
Speaker:don't just come in here and do that
Speaker:without picking up some merch
Speaker:what do I get out of it
Speaker:okay haha I love my but this guy I was at this club
Speaker:I don't wanna say where I just said
Speaker:but I wanna take it out but I was at this club and um
Speaker:the bartender oh really offended me about my fans he
Speaker:I was I was sitting at the bar and he was like God
Speaker:I've never seen you know you know
Speaker:so there's no young people here
Speaker:there's no whatever
Speaker:and I let him talk and talk and talk and I said
Speaker:and he goes to see do like older people jokes
Speaker:and I was sitting at the corner of the barn
Speaker:I was getting so angry and I let him talk and talk
Speaker:and then the manager came over and said why
Speaker:you ask him he's right here and um
Speaker:this young dude turned around and I said
Speaker:let me tell you about my fans and I said
Speaker:they are established
Speaker:they're my age they're not older older people
Speaker:they're my age and older and I go
Speaker:they are established they are mature
Speaker:they're gonna drink and tip you really well
Speaker:because they're in they're in the age group
Speaker:they have jobs sloppy asshole
Speaker:kicked out every sloppy asshole drunks and I really
Speaker:really like felt like I gave a speech to this man
Speaker:and he he could have given a fuck
Speaker:that was what blew when I said
Speaker:when you called me and you were like
Speaker:this guy was talking shit
Speaker:I was right there at the bar and I was waiting
Speaker:and then I turned around and I was like
Speaker:it's me motherfucker he wasn't like
Speaker:oh shit he was like yeah
Speaker:he did not care fans can suck a dick
Speaker:he did not care well I guess that's why
Speaker:he's 20 years old and hasn't Learned yet
Speaker:we have to go but next up
Speaker:oh great question about uh one of your specialties
Speaker:oh birth control I don't yeah
Speaker:I don't mean with us personally I mean professionally
Speaker:you're very good birth control
Speaker:he looks me get away yes
Speaker:and we got some great question about birth control
Speaker:and some other stuff and that
Speaker:thank goodness people I'm excited about this one
Speaker:we're not afraid that coming up on the next episode of
Speaker:afraid to ask
Speaker:you know I've never noticed
Speaker:but you know that I have a tattoo on my ass since
Speaker:how's my fucking because I like the accountability
Speaker:I go let's keep me on my a game why is it on your ass
Speaker:so if people can see about oh
Speaker:I see what you're saying I'd like to redo it
Speaker:I was imagining someone's watching me have sex with
Speaker:you fucking like
Speaker:behind is what I want
Speaker:okay well these are logistics that backfired
Speaker:it should be on my yeah but you could be on your ass
Speaker:I was picture was a 3rd party
Speaker:because you could be on my ass
Speaker:why would a tattoo be on your ass
Speaker:cause people walking by
Speaker:cause I was pretending I was like a porn star
Speaker:people were like I'm gonna call up this guy
Speaker:but they wouldn't see it unless you were naked
Speaker:and who sees your ass if you're naked
Speaker:you know what I'm not gonna really do it now
Speaker:I'm just cause you made a lot of great points
Speaker:now I'm thinking about two boners
