Grab Ass
In this episode...
In this episode of "Afraid to Ask," comedian Jamie Lissow and his more visually appealing half discuss the side effects and benefits of lying and how Jamie’s new lounge pants makes him want to get into his own pants after shows now, instead of a woman’s.
Chapters
00:00 - Jamie’s First Theater Gig
04:31 - Erika’s Been Lying To Jamie
06:00 - When It’s Ok To Lie
06:50 - Erika Tries To Double Ruin Jamie’s Show
09:30 - Little Grey Lies
15:20 - Girls Approaching Jamie After A Show
16:30 - Choosing Sweatpants Over Women
17:18 - Jamie Got Touched Inappropriately After A Show
19:15 - If Erika Was In A Different Field
21:00 - Getting Insulted Online
23:30 - Erika Almost Gets Kicked Out Of Jamie’s Show
About the Podcast
Comedian Jamie Lissow and his smarter half Dr. Erika answer all kinds of medical, dating, sex, divorce, questions some might be afraid to ask. Listen & subscribe for prescriptions and punchlines.
Mentioned in this episode:
Warning:
This is an uncensored podcast that will include adult language and topics. Viewer discretion is advised.
Transcript
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend
Speaker:how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit I'm afraid to ask
Speaker:but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:hi I had two things
Speaker:I wanted to bring up to you that I didn't warn you
Speaker:that we were gonna talk about today
Speaker:last this weekend had my first theater show
Speaker:yes and you were amazing oh
Speaker:that's really nice
Speaker:I'm not being like that's really nice
Speaker:you were great it was fun
Speaker:thank you it was really fun and my home city
Speaker:it was your home city a boy chat ho yeah
Speaker:woohoo totally pack super fun show um
Speaker:talk shit about our potatoes
Speaker:I did talk shit about you
Speaker:I talked about how it was
Speaker:it's a difficult place to be keto
Speaker:because you're the potato land
Speaker:you what I do well
Speaker:you went hard I did you insulted the like
Speaker:I mean like
Speaker:think about if you were in Georgia and you're like
Speaker:fuck peaches yep
Speaker:I if I ever go to Georgia
Speaker:that's how I'll start wonderful cause be you know why
Speaker:because fuck peaches like in for real
Speaker:I hate peaches and I hate people eating peaches yeah
Speaker:I know that about you
Speaker:I felt silly when I gave that as the example
Speaker:but that's why I'm mad you were like
Speaker:I went to like this famous place and I had right well
Speaker:Westside is kind of cool though
Speaker:I think we need to give them a shout out
Speaker:Westside Diner a badass place yeah
Speaker:so Westside Diner is a diner in Boise
Speaker:I know that people love to go to and no no no
Speaker:this is a chef that like is like famous yeah
Speaker:famous like not like fine
Speaker:he's fine dining
Speaker:but he like stopped it and it's like a drive through
Speaker:you can get prime rib in the drive through
Speaker:I should order that instead of what I got
Speaker:it's only on certain days we didn't go through that
Speaker:they had it okay
Speaker:so so you talk shit about the potato yeah
Speaker:there's a dessert that shaped like a potato
Speaker:and it's not shaped it is a potato
Speaker:it looks it's looks like a potato
Speaker:no no no
Speaker:what do you mean
Speaker:I was it's ice cream yeah
Speaker:that looks like a potato rolled in the shape of potato
Speaker:rolled in like cocoa powder
Speaker:and then split to look like a
Speaker:it's cute it's very cute
Speaker:I'm just saying
Speaker:I'd rather have a plain potato for dessert
Speaker:than whatever that tasted like
Speaker:but we had a really good time ah
Speaker:so the show goes it goes good
Speaker:how's it not gonna go good
Speaker:we had 760 Gutfeld fans yeah
Speaker:filling every seat we knew it was gonna be good okay
Speaker:740 Gutfeld fans then 20 of Eric's friends
Speaker:you sold it out oh
Speaker:I thought you were I thought you were delining between
Speaker:um no
Speaker:oh okay
Speaker:versus not Gutfeld yeah
Speaker:I thought you meant like
Speaker:your friends would have come no matter what
Speaker:my people came because of Gutfeld
Speaker:that's all I was saying
Speaker:show ends I'm very happy and you know me
Speaker:I'm not often yeah
Speaker:that was an amazing show I'm great
Speaker:I don't do that very often
Speaker:I got off stage last night
Speaker:little bit of pressure because your
Speaker:your your friends were all there
Speaker:all your doctor friends I get off stage
Speaker:my mother was there well
Speaker:here's the thing
Speaker:you're getting a little bit ahead of me
Speaker:oh oh shit
Speaker:I'm sorry I'll be okay
Speaker:you know that
Speaker:it's not like we're spoiling it for each other
Speaker:fuck
Speaker:um I'm sorry
Speaker:would you please deliver a joke
Speaker:Jamie Lasalle yeah
Speaker:um maybe later I'll tell the Goldilocks story
Speaker:and you could be like
Speaker:all the bears are just still the bear still there
Speaker:did you notice I said your name with the incorrect wing
Speaker:yeah anyway
Speaker:I'm really happy I do a ton of ad libs
Speaker:I do 30 minutes of brand new material
Speaker:about the colonoscopy I just had
Speaker:I'm feeling really good about myself and the show
Speaker:which is not a normal thing for me right
Speaker:get off and I go yeah
Speaker:why why not
Speaker:it's just not a nice feel really
Speaker:it was I felt like that was a high
Speaker:bit of a high pressure show and I felt great
Speaker:get off stage meeting some people taking some pictures
Speaker:in the middle of this chaos
Speaker:my beautiful girlfriend Erica comes up to me and says
Speaker:I've only lied to you once in our entire relationship
Speaker:and it's been for the last month or so
Speaker:and I'm like what happened
Speaker:what it was it was not exactly that it was longer
Speaker:but you said that to me after my
Speaker:my really
Speaker:what I consider to be one of the best shows ever
Speaker:I'm in a great mood all these people around
Speaker:and you say very seriously
Speaker:I've been lying to you for months
Speaker:I go what is
Speaker:what are you talking about
Speaker:I didn't tell you I couldn't just be like hey
Speaker:surprise motherfucker but then it wasn't that bad
Speaker:just the what you lied to me about
Speaker:was that your mom came with the show
Speaker:and she's not a person who's a huge fan of F words
Speaker:no unless it's faith
Speaker:she
Speaker:she's very
Speaker:she's a religious woman she doesn't like the bad f word
Speaker:she's innocent and sweet
Speaker:and I was worried that she would not have the best time
Speaker:yeah so she ended up coming and you played it perfectly
Speaker:I'm not angry you for lying was
Speaker:there's some good lies in this world
Speaker:why I lied to you of course I do
Speaker:because it would have ruined everything
Speaker:and it would have gotten in my head
Speaker:oh she can come
Speaker:oh man
Speaker:if she came though fuck like yeah
Speaker:so stressed yeah
Speaker:so I felt like I was doing the good thing
Speaker:you did
Speaker:we first met you asked me what you say oh
Speaker:I just I still feel so guilty that I lied
Speaker:to you I've never lied to you about anything
Speaker:it's a great lie though in our whole relationship
Speaker:and I still which surprises me Erica
Speaker:why surprise me that you've never lied to you
Speaker:yeah but what surprises me is we we did this you know
Speaker:I'm sure it's annoying stuff to hear about
Speaker:two people that when they first dated
Speaker:didn't love and everything
Speaker:and we used to do these disgusting
Speaker:we do these little we'd ask each other questions
Speaker:you said what's your least favorite thing
Speaker:I'm not gonna talk shit about somebody
Speaker:I'm gonna say this really politically
Speaker:I said
Speaker:I I can't hate when people lie to me and you said oh
Speaker:I lie all the time haha
Speaker:and I was like what are you talking about
Speaker:I did that was a long time
Speaker:so that's why I'm surprised you've never lied to me
Speaker:because your lies are often very kind and helpful
Speaker:like the lie about your mom okay
Speaker:well
Speaker:this is an important thing to bring up being nervous
Speaker:well
Speaker:lies have such a spectrum right
Speaker:and it's also the intent yeah
Speaker:and if I the mom lie is for a spectrum goes
Speaker:the mom lie was like an Asperger's of lies
Speaker:she wanted to calm yeah
Speaker:she loves you and supports you
Speaker:but you would have totally changed your show
Speaker:yeah for her and that's not fair
Speaker:I would have put up a different comedian
Speaker:I would have seen if I could get made fargotzi well
Speaker:you did say a lot of stuff about sex hmm
Speaker:really glad I didn't know she was there
Speaker:but very happy to see that she was there after the
Speaker:the show and then we're driving the car yesterday
Speaker:you're the most thoughtful person I've ever met
Speaker:and you go you know
Speaker:I almost called your mom and flew her out for the show
Speaker:I was like
Speaker:I wanted to that'd make cool if you double ruined it
Speaker:what the fuck I thought that was nice
Speaker:I just mean it's very nice and kind
Speaker:but it would have gotten in my head
Speaker:are you saying you wouldn't have told me
Speaker:no I wasn't gonna tell you you son of a bitch
Speaker:I'm just but it would
Speaker:it would have been
Speaker:it would have gotten in my head and made this shit
Speaker:stop talking I'm so red right now oh my God
Speaker:I thought it was a good thing no
Speaker:no I would love my mom but you know
Speaker:I it's a different it's like your mom same thing
Speaker:but mine
Speaker:he just said I was double you
Speaker:I didn't mean
Speaker:I meant you would have double gotten it in my head
Speaker:I have hung out with you in oars
Speaker:where my best friends have probed your asshole
Speaker:and I was fine with it
Speaker:but inviting 2 mothers to your show is the fucking like
Speaker:Nitus to our relationship ending yeah
Speaker:do you know since you just said what you just said
Speaker:I've been racking my brain to think about what 0
Speaker:r means and I still don't know
Speaker:our operating room yeah
Speaker:yeah oh no
Speaker:Jamie Soul clap
Speaker:that's very kind of you to wanna bring my mom
Speaker:but my
Speaker:my point of this whole thing is things get in my head
Speaker:I'm not one of these guys that can just well
Speaker:that's fair but you kind of phrase it like yeah
Speaker:fuck the moms no I think it's different yes
Speaker:I get it like if you knew ahead of time and you oh shit
Speaker:my mom your mom oh I gotta make it clean
Speaker:if you have to talk about how many times
Speaker:it bent Erica over backwards
Speaker:and fucked her raw you know
Speaker:that's probably a good thing I can't count that
Speaker:you know what I think that oh okay
Speaker:this is not the way I wanted to start
Speaker:if you would surprise me
Speaker:I was very happy to see your mom
Speaker:was I not silly today did I not
Speaker:you were was I not excited
Speaker:you immediately stopped
Speaker:that whole line of people who waited for you
Speaker:and you actually said I'm sorry guys
Speaker:one second I did this is amazing
Speaker:and you went and hugged her
Speaker:and she felt really special
Speaker:I thought it was very sweet
Speaker:so you know what I'm saying right
Speaker:that fucking hug me you asshole
Speaker:that's right
Speaker:but I now realized the bar is set way lower
Speaker:but you understand what I'm saying that I was
Speaker:I was definitely freaked like
Speaker:I would have been freaked out
Speaker:if you told me ahead of time
Speaker:if I saw my mom and your mom
Speaker:are you kidding me I would have been so excited that
Speaker:that I wasn't in my head
Speaker:and I got to do that whole show afterwards afterwards
Speaker:yeah hundred percent yeah
Speaker:afterwards so we're going back to the white lies
Speaker:like what is acceptable what's not acceptable
Speaker:we don't need to bring race into it
Speaker:but I think you're right oh my God
Speaker:fuck you I wasn't being oh
Speaker:little white lies what do you wanna call it then
Speaker:no you're right
Speaker:you're right I'm just kidding
Speaker:what a little blurry gray lie yeah
Speaker:a non denominational lie that there are kind lies
Speaker:like the asshole right now
Speaker:there are kind lies your Liberal girlfriend
Speaker:good job way to be
Speaker:that's fucking awesome you're 100% right now
Speaker:keep going what else do I do wrong
Speaker:I don't know you did nothing wrong
Speaker:oh no
Speaker:there are lies that help that are good LGBTQ minus
Speaker:there there are good lies right
Speaker:aren't there
Speaker:are you really mad at me no
Speaker:but I liked your face you were like
Speaker:oh fuck
Speaker:I get worried that all times people are mad at me
Speaker:you know this about me I'm not mad at you okay
Speaker:but I think this is a really important topic about like
Speaker:what is like acceptable to lie about and what's yeah
Speaker:so for example
Speaker:okay this is really bad that I'm leading to this
Speaker:what if a guy in bed is like
Speaker:this is by the way
Speaker:you have no idea how I'm gonna say this
Speaker:what if a guy is like hmm
Speaker:so the best you've ever had right
Speaker:uh huh right
Speaker:is that the most you've ever taken and you're like no
Speaker:you were kind of let down right
Speaker:most women
Speaker:if they think they're going to see a guy a second time
Speaker:oh
Speaker:will be like ah it's amazing really
Speaker:why would I be like oh it was mediocre no
Speaker:no no
Speaker:I think you would say it's amazing
Speaker:even if you weren't gonna see him a second time
Speaker:fuck that shit just he didn't earn his keep
Speaker:bye bye
Speaker:okay
Speaker:I never thought of sex
Speaker:I've never told that says earning my keep
Speaker:not I've never you know
Speaker:I've never wouldn't be like hmm
Speaker:you know what I think it's be like best
Speaker:if you didn't stay over tonight
Speaker:you don't deserve coffee in the morning
Speaker:you deserve like a punch to the face you know
Speaker:I've never been told that
Speaker:I don't fucking ask questions that I have had sex
Speaker:I don't ask questions I don't know the answer to
Speaker:gentlemen if you don't want to know the answer
Speaker:you just have I feel pretty confident in the bedroom
Speaker:not called afraid to ask yeah
Speaker:but that's the thing I would never go like oh
Speaker:is this a bastard
Speaker:this was someone I was really serious with okay
Speaker:it was annoying because like
Speaker:honestly think about like
Speaker:the best sex you've ever had in your fucking life
Speaker:picture yet and it won't even offend me if it's not me
Speaker:but like if I'm with some guy and he's like
Speaker:oh my God like someone else was like fucking Thor
Speaker:he has like this complex so like
Speaker:women
Speaker:every time you're with a new partner have to be like
Speaker:that was the best sex of my life
Speaker:I know what you're thinking right now
Speaker:but like that was the best sex of my life oh my God
Speaker:your dick is the biggest penis
Speaker:I've ever seen in the world
Speaker:I'm sorry
Speaker:what's the harm on that because it's not true right
Speaker:and women have to be like hmm
Speaker:this is amazing but how many times have you been like
Speaker:your clit is the most cotton candy
Speaker:delicious thing I've ever licked in my life rarely
Speaker:what do you say it doesn't come up what yeah
Speaker:you just don't compliment her
Speaker:if I'm not a fan of it
Speaker:I'll say something polite like you
Speaker:and if you are a fan of it no
Speaker:I I'm gonna be I'm gonna be straight with you
Speaker:I've never talked about sex
Speaker:like I talked about it with you
Speaker:things aren't discussed what just happens
Speaker:meet a girl at your show way before me
Speaker:cause you're wonderful now and you're mine
Speaker:but like what about like 10 years ago
Speaker:20 years ago 20 okay
Speaker:I don't know I'm married
Speaker:I could have used I said I said 20
Speaker:you were married 20 years ago
Speaker:oh okay yeah
Speaker:I was no you weren't
Speaker:I was married for 17 years
Speaker:and I got divorced five years ago
Speaker:Jesus Christ whatever okay
Speaker:okay it's after a show wow
Speaker:I'm glad I have to set this up like a fucking
Speaker:like pictograph for you
Speaker:I have two things I can't forget to tell you
Speaker:why do you have to have it so specific
Speaker:okay it's after a show
Speaker:I'm just trying
Speaker:I was trying to figure out am I single or divorced
Speaker:fine if you're single it doesn't matter okay
Speaker:cause in the if I was married I could use getting laid
Speaker:that sucks for you go ahead
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:you were gonna say it's after a show
Speaker:someone comes up to you
Speaker:and you fuck the shit out of a girl wow
Speaker:and then afterwards
Speaker:before she goes home and she says to you
Speaker:how was that uh huh
Speaker:what do you say it's it's I'm gonna be honest
Speaker:it's never it's all it's rarely been not good
Speaker:so it's pretty good what do you say though
Speaker:I guess great that's it yeah
Speaker:I don't I tell that shit you're honest
Speaker:that's great oh awesome
Speaker:I don't sound like I'm glad I was
Speaker:like a halfway decent donut with bacon on top
Speaker:like give me the fucking cronut
Speaker:let me tell you you should go like all the way
Speaker:let's lie to the fucking girl
Speaker:if you're not gonna see her again
Speaker:then you'll be nice and say wow
Speaker:you're amazing you're beautiful
Speaker:I can't believe like you came back with me
Speaker:have a beautiful life why do you have to be an asshole
Speaker:I thought you just told me you would not be
Speaker:tell a guy he was really good
Speaker:if you're never gonna see him again
Speaker:I'm a girl it's a difference okay
Speaker:men expect to hear your penis is fucking huge
Speaker:it's like a goddamn pipe I don't want that
Speaker:I don't need that yes
Speaker:you do I just wanna be told I'm doing a good job
Speaker:do you wanna hear like me
Speaker:no no
Speaker:no no
Speaker:but I'm saying that's what I'm saying
Speaker:the size thing doesn't
Speaker:I don't want you to hear anything like that
Speaker:I would like to hear you wanna hear like yes
Speaker:performance 100% wasn't bad
Speaker:I have so many questions I'm afraid to ask go for it
Speaker:nope um do it
Speaker:do you know when I was single
Speaker:this is about me and like girls after shows
Speaker:do you know I was single
Speaker:I think it was I'm so bad with dates
Speaker:I don't know if this was post marriage or
Speaker:I definitely was single after a show
Speaker:did I tell you about this
Speaker:already about the I don't know if I told you already
Speaker:I'll edit it out after a show
Speaker:this girl comes up to me and she's like
Speaker:all the signals I told you about before
Speaker:where I think she likes me and wants to sleep with me
Speaker:she's like oh
Speaker:I'm here alone my friends left
Speaker:whatever and she's not an unattractive girl Erica
Speaker:she's not unattractive okay
Speaker:that's not a compliment
Speaker:what she's not an out of shape man
Speaker:it wasn't supposed to that conjure
Speaker:well that fucking ass okay
Speaker:ripped what I'm trying to say is she wasn't
Speaker:there could have been a temptation for some guy to
Speaker:so if she was like
Speaker:super not my type is a play way to put it
Speaker:then the story doesn't matter right
Speaker:cause then it's like what was the
Speaker:she was a cute girl Jamie
Speaker:she was a cute girl
Speaker:I feel like
Speaker:you're trying to really feel up against the wall
Speaker:what's your type you just said that you're my type
Speaker:she wasn't oh
Speaker:so here's what happens like cop out
Speaker:this is a true story she starts saying all these things
Speaker:that make me feel like she wants to sleep with me
Speaker:tell me if these are like she goes
Speaker:is your hotel nearby I've told you that
Speaker:once she goes over all my friends
Speaker:and you know what I did was talking to her
Speaker:I realized you tell your penis is broken no
Speaker:you're not gonna believe
Speaker:this I'm single hotel right next door
Speaker:I go to Lululemon earlier that day
Speaker:and I had purchased the softest pair of lounge pants
Speaker:I've ever felt in my life
Speaker:and as she was talking to me
Speaker:I pictured myself alone in my room
Speaker:like putting on my lounge pants
Speaker:and I was like oh
Speaker:and I snap back into it and I was like oh
Speaker:I gotta get out of here
Speaker:and I went home with my lounge pants
Speaker:that's that's where I'm at
Speaker:I just felt like the amount of drama
Speaker:to have to do that with someone
Speaker:I would probably never be with again yeah
Speaker:just give me my laundromats
Speaker:give me a rotisserie chicken and give me some Netflix
Speaker:Netflix hey
Speaker:guess what did you what
Speaker:I did get touched inappropriately last night
Speaker:Owen Spokane uh huh
Speaker:I just told my therapist we go to therapy
Speaker:we can talk about that later
Speaker:I love my therapist I
Speaker:I'm a huge proponent of counseling and mental health um
Speaker:advocacy I think
Speaker:people are afraid to talk about the fact
Speaker:they have a counselor or therapist right
Speaker:like it's almost like this native like you're a failure
Speaker:it's not well anyway
Speaker:so I was talking to my therapist about you
Speaker:and I just said her today what
Speaker:he got his dick wrapped
Speaker:yeah well okay
Speaker:I didn't I didn't just like walk in be like hello
Speaker:nice to see you pecker fucking whipped
Speaker:what do you in what context
Speaker:did you tell her that this happened
Speaker:you mean after a show we were talking about like
Speaker:you not liking men hitting on me
Speaker:and how women often hit on you
Speaker:and how it bothers you on social media
Speaker:way more than it because you're protective
Speaker:way more than it bothers me
Speaker:but what bothers me is not the threat of like oh
Speaker:this guy and girl are gonna hook up
Speaker:like Jamie's gonna be like oh
Speaker:this woman's attractive
Speaker:I don't like that you are disrespected
Speaker:I think it's fucked up
Speaker:that someone just grabs your dick out of nowhere
Speaker:so I told her that and she was like okay
Speaker:so we had this huge conversation about like
Speaker:inappropriate versus appropriate
Speaker:like kissing
Speaker:taking pictures and hugging you and how like
Speaker:it's actually really healthy that I trust you so much
Speaker:that when women grab you in a non sexual
Speaker:like I'm obsessed with Jamie way
Speaker:I'm okay with it
Speaker:but when it's like they grab your penis or yeah
Speaker:but yeah it
Speaker:it bothers me because I feel like that's
Speaker:that's your body and that's not fair to you
Speaker:not that I feel like you're cheating on me at all
Speaker:but like that's not cool
Speaker:but the flip side is very different
Speaker:and we talked about that and how like
Speaker:if I was in a field where like men came up to me yeah
Speaker:if you're in a field I'd fucking come up to you
Speaker:that is the sound of Jamie's fingers
Speaker:tapping awkwardly on the table
Speaker:if I can come right up to you
Speaker:I'm driving
Speaker:I look over see this beautiful girl in the field
Speaker:fucking kidding me
Speaker:I work in a field where most of my colleagues are men
Speaker:highly successful younger men
Speaker:but they don't cost me they don't touch me right
Speaker:so we talked a lot about like what's appropriate
Speaker:not appropriate so continue
Speaker:my point is
Speaker:I don't feel threatened by it because I trust you
Speaker:but it bothers me
Speaker:when someone invades your personal space yeah
Speaker:the side was if a man grabbed my boob or my ass or like
Speaker:good God if he like went between my legs
Speaker:I think you'd fucking kill him
Speaker:I'll be very upset yeah
Speaker:at him not me
Speaker:it's on him yeah
Speaker:I feel like if you're in a field though
Speaker:you'd see him coming and you could somehow
Speaker:you could escape before he got to you
Speaker:I think that I have more haha
Speaker:I'm not sure that one qualifies this one
Speaker:but we'll say next joke yeah
Speaker:I agree I feel like haha
Speaker:you just said like um
Speaker:what I'm hot like what highly successful like young guy
Speaker:I definitely feel like there's two versions of it
Speaker:my fans are sometimes people that you probably don't
Speaker:there's there's I don't think it
Speaker:it's more for sure an invasion of personal space
Speaker:when I picture that stuff
Speaker:I get super defensive
Speaker:when people are like mean online to me or kind of
Speaker:you way more angry if it's something with you
Speaker:cause they
Speaker:I feel like they don't know what they're talking about
Speaker:and you don't care but it really bothers me well
Speaker:I don't care because it's people who have never met us
Speaker:yeah if I get an insult from someone close to me
Speaker:who knows my character uh huh
Speaker:it kills me
Speaker:uh if it's someone who doesn't even know you and me
Speaker:it's social media
Speaker:so easy to like insult and attack people
Speaker:it doesn't matter yeah
Speaker:I heard someone say once and I wanna steal it
Speaker:they said I only care about an opinion of someone
Speaker:who has my cell phone number
Speaker:that's actually really good
Speaker:that's not a good one
Speaker:so last night I like that one pretty good right
Speaker:so Spokane Washington
Speaker:let's implement it let's do it
Speaker:so for for context
Speaker:the touching the penis and everything
Speaker:we're talking about people after shows
Speaker:man doing it who touched your penis
Speaker:but that's what we're talking about
Speaker:if anybody doesn't understand
Speaker:why someone touched my penis
Speaker:after a show line of people more
Speaker:look like more than once was not a man
Speaker:a woman took a picture with me
Speaker:did I miss something
Speaker:a woman took a picture with me and after the picture
Speaker:she said to her husband
Speaker:I got the same picture with Jimmy Fallia
Speaker:Jimmy Fallia is my friend who has a shot
Speaker:I like him he's a man he's great so nice
Speaker:he has a really popular radio shows
Speaker:and Gutfeld all the time um
Speaker:he guest hosted the night he's funny yeah
Speaker:he guest hosted the night you saw man Gutfeld yeah
Speaker:and um so she goes yeah
Speaker:fun I mean
Speaker:fun's one adjective
Speaker:people used to describe his clothes
Speaker:um Jimmy he's the best and so this woman
Speaker:she takes a picture with me
Speaker:it was one of those one of my
Speaker:the most annoying things is
Speaker:I'm gonna take a picture with you
Speaker:and then someone else goes
Speaker:let me get it what are you doing
Speaker:what is happening she goes
Speaker:let me let me do it on my phone
Speaker:and two people
Speaker:that each other take pictures on different phones
Speaker:and you're like just text it
Speaker:sometimes
Speaker:the older people make me take pictures on their phone
Speaker:so they can also have the picture
Speaker:it's a story okay
Speaker:so then she grabbed my dick your ass oh
Speaker:who gives a shit
Speaker:okay next topic so anyway
Speaker:expected you to care this whole night
Speaker:or the whole time you were in talking about like
Speaker:someone grabbing your penis and your ass
Speaker:and she said Jimmy failure
Speaker:let me do this
Speaker:I want to have a picture of me grabbing your ass okay
Speaker:and before I could respond it was it was locked in
Speaker:might be online so I want to tell you oh
Speaker:you wanted to tell me like I'd be upset
Speaker:if I saw a picture of a woman growing your ass
Speaker:just wanted to bring it up
Speaker:but I love you and I trust you
Speaker:so like if I saw that it would never bother me okay
Speaker:because you're not like hey
Speaker:you wanna grab my ass or acting on it afterwards
Speaker:and I don't know how it feels
Speaker:my voice sounds like that
Speaker:I'm trying to make it just okay
Speaker:hey listen
Speaker:there's a big difference between you
Speaker:inviting sexual advances versus you doing your job
Speaker:and people being inappropriate in your bouncers
Speaker:not doing their fucking job yeah
Speaker:huge difference oh my God
Speaker:you're so cute that you think I have bouncers at my
Speaker:I met someone I should go oh
Speaker:that was a theater say hi to you
Speaker:that was a theater theaters are very different
Speaker:he was like get the fuck away from Jamie and I was like
Speaker:but I wanna go see Jamie did
Speaker:I went up to that get the fuck away from Jamie
Speaker:Erica came up to see me after the show and he kicked it
Speaker:and I I wanted to
Speaker:I gave him a stern I went up to him and I said hey
Speaker:I go No. 1 that's my girlfriend
Speaker:I go No. 2
Speaker:anyone that looks like that is allowed back here
Speaker:you didn't say that no
Speaker:he met me beforehand though
Speaker:and that's why you were upset
Speaker:was because we met like way before your show
Speaker:yeah there's no one but like four people
Speaker:like you're opener of the manager
Speaker:you me and him
Speaker:the MC and we talked for a while
Speaker:so yeah after your show
Speaker:I always feel bad cutting people off
Speaker:like there they waste no time
Speaker:because you are valuable
Speaker:and they wanna be there and they're excited
Speaker:but what do you mean
Speaker:like sneaking in to say hi to me or to like crying
Speaker:I'm wasting their time
Speaker:because they stood in line forever for you
Speaker:and then I'm like hey Jamie
Speaker:yeah I don't know why haha
Speaker:that's weird that you're doing my voice
Speaker:I think
Speaker:they are more uncomfortable with you doing that voice
Speaker:than you cutting in line so I walked out to like
Speaker:hey that girl with a deep voice cut me haha
Speaker:and I'm like hi
Speaker:can I just say hi to Jamie
Speaker:I just wanna let him know we're gonna go to a bar
Speaker:and he turned around he's like
Speaker:fuck you
Speaker:he was very nice actually
Speaker:he was but he turned around
Speaker:he was like shut it down
Speaker:he was like no
Speaker:the line starts over there
Speaker:you cannot come in that's the way it works
Speaker:and my face I like dropped and I was like
Speaker:yeah is he joking with me
Speaker:cause so that's something we should talk about
Speaker:he's being serious
Speaker:it's very difficult to know serious or sarcastic
Speaker:but he just looks at me and he goes
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:and I am very strapped and I was like
Speaker:but I think my mommy is here
Speaker:and he looks I didn't say that
Speaker:he looks me as oh fuck
Speaker:oh god damn it
Speaker:I'm so sorry you're Jamie's girlfriend
Speaker:not his fault he's not his fam
Speaker:and I actually enjoyed the fact that you were protected
Speaker:I told him to go Bob the shit out of it
Speaker:but like he was cool I go
Speaker:hey don't like that
Speaker:I don't need to be protected okay
Speaker:we've been over this what
Speaker:I'm glad he let you know what that means
Speaker:just you're beautiful
Speaker:that's the bouncer we just talked about
Speaker:your balls on a shish kebab stick
Speaker:where did I one of us talked about that
Speaker:coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:so I got a question coming in
Speaker:this is interesting
Speaker:Doctor Erica and Jamie
Speaker:sometimes I feel like they put in Jamie just to be nice
Speaker:I get massages all the time because they're good for my
Speaker:sciatica
Speaker:sciatica and my circulation
Speaker:but my boyfriend thinks I'm wasting money ah
Speaker:could you please tell him
Speaker:there's an actual health benefit to massage
Speaker:or is he right
