Pre-Colonoscopy
In this episode...
In this episode of "Afraid to Ask," Jamie and Dr. Erika navigate the world of healthcare with humor and insight. From Jamie's hilarious encounters with "butthole doctors" to a candid discussion on physician suicide rates, the duo covers a spectrum of medical topics. The conversation takes unexpected turns, exploring everything from the origins of Viagra and its side effects to the quirky details of anal winks and colonoscopies. With anecdotes about condoms, emergency contraception, and the serious side of sexual health, this episode offers a blend of laughter and valuable insights into the medical world. Tune in for an entertaining and unfiltered peek behind the scenes of healthcare with Jamie and Dr. Erika.
Chapters
00:00 - Colonoscopies & Intentional Shits
04:45 - Erika Shits Her Pants
07:00 - Mysterious Testicle Disorder
09:00 - Why Balls Are Not A Design Flaw
11:30 - Sperm Temperature Water
12:00 - Colonoscopy Preparation
13:00 - What Are You Most Concerned About?
14:20 - Jamie’s Big Lie
16:00 - What Can Ruin Intimacy
17:51 - More Scary Yet Informative Colonoscopy Talk
21:05 - Local Anesthesia
22:30 - Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Die
25:00 - Why It Would Be Hard To Date A Penis Doctor
27:00 - Erika Getting Hit On At Work
30:00 - Chlamydia And Viagra & Why Men Lie
31:00 - Dick Doesn’t Work
39:00 - Involuntary Erections
39:54 - The Anal Wink
43:00 - Condom Fails
45:45 - Is The G-Spot The Clitoris?
47:51 - On the Next Episode of Afraid to Ask…
About the Podcast
Comedian Jamie Lissow and his smarter half Dr. Erika answer all kinds of medical, dating, sex, divorce, questions some might be afraid to ask. Listen & subscribe for prescriptions and punchlines.
Transcript
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend
Speaker:how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good
Speaker:is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:what's happening is I'm getting a colonoscopy
Speaker:oh we're we're we're recording oh yeah
Speaker:let's talk about your um
Speaker:exciting event cause I was not gonna do it
Speaker:I was never gonna schedule it what
Speaker:it just wasn't wasn't that it's like my flu shot
Speaker:I don't get yeah
Speaker:don't get him
Speaker:I don't get the flu
Speaker:everything's fine
Speaker:not anymore my love so
Speaker:you had told me
Speaker:when I was thinking about scheduling a colonoscopy
Speaker:I'd always heard 50 years old
Speaker:I'm not 50 years old Erica
Speaker:and so I was very excited that I had a whole
Speaker:I'm hesitantly saying my age
Speaker:I saw that I started stuttering
Speaker:I was like should I just lie and pretend I'm yeah
Speaker:now I'm 49 and um
Speaker:you like to round up to 50 sometimes no
Speaker:well to make fun of you
Speaker:but in women's age I always round down yeah
Speaker:and so anyway
Speaker:I thought I was like yeah
Speaker:I'm gonna get you know
Speaker:dating a doctor
Speaker:I go I should probably get a colonoscopy
Speaker:and then I go as 50
Speaker:the right age and you go
Speaker:not anymore
Speaker:moved it down
Speaker:which made me feel like I was no longer
Speaker:on like getting a head
Speaker:it made me feel like I was behind
Speaker:and it worried me a little bit because why would
Speaker:why would the doctors want you to go check at 45 now
Speaker:I'm not a year early
Speaker:I'm four years late
Speaker:and so now I have stress related to that
Speaker:yeah I get that a lot
Speaker:though the guidelines actually recently changed
Speaker:so it hasn't been like that
Speaker:so you didn't mess up
Speaker:a lot of people are playing catch up
Speaker:because everybody heard age 50 for a long long time
Speaker:unfortunately
Speaker:we're diagnosing a lot more colon cancer
Speaker:colorectal cancer
Speaker:a lot earlier in age in life
Speaker:so the USPSCF guidelines basically said
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:there's way more people getting sick
Speaker:let's round down to where we can
Speaker:hopefully catch something early
Speaker:is this to make me feel better all this
Speaker:so you're saying
Speaker:I'm saying you're young
Speaker:and the scary thing
Speaker:I guess it's a double edged short right
Speaker:yeah more people are getting sick earlier
Speaker:but at the same time
Speaker:we're catching stuff earlier
Speaker:catching it sooner
Speaker:change the guidelines to starting it earlier
Speaker:right that makes sense
Speaker:yeah so that's what we're doing gotcha
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:you're saying they're doing this to be
Speaker:you know to catch something a little bit earlier
Speaker:before my perspective
Speaker:I guess I felt like I was getting it early
Speaker:by doing it a year before 50
Speaker:but now I feel like I'm late
Speaker:and late makes me
Speaker:you know me
Speaker:I'm getting a little anxious
Speaker:a little stressed out
Speaker:that makes me feel like that I'm now
Speaker:I'm late and something could be going on
Speaker:but you're saying
Speaker:even if there was something
Speaker:this is better than
Speaker:right yeah I mean
Speaker:what we're trying to do is catch up before it spreads
Speaker:right so you want to catch up before you're sick
Speaker:or you have symptoms
Speaker:too yeah so
Speaker:that's the goal
Speaker:I know it just
Speaker:it sucks to hear all of it
Speaker:have difficult to ask
Speaker:I hear it all the time in my office
Speaker:and I tell people
Speaker:you're young
Speaker:I'm sorry but happy birthday right
Speaker:what I thought was
Speaker:you gotta do it right
Speaker:yeah I'm doing it
Speaker:I haven't scheduled them on the books
Speaker:and what surprised me was
Speaker:you know it would be day
Speaker:for a while
Speaker:we started dating
Speaker:I would come to visit you
Speaker:and I'll stay in a hotel
Speaker:and then after a while every
Speaker:it was like hell
Speaker:you should sleep here
Speaker:and then after a while
Speaker:there was no more hotels
Speaker:and I would stay at your house
Speaker:and then when I am
Speaker:when we talked about the colonoscopy
Speaker:you said oh
Speaker:the day before the colonoscopy
Speaker:I'll pick you up from the airport
Speaker:and then we'll drop you off your hotel
Speaker:and then the next day we'll do
Speaker:I was like oh
Speaker:I thought I was uh
Speaker:bad guy I thought I
Speaker:was I thought I slept over your house from now on
Speaker:but well you're a guy who sleeps at my house
Speaker:you're not a guy that poops at my house
Speaker:so I was trying to give you the other hand
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:so what happens is the night before Colonel asked me
Speaker:you had a drink
Speaker:you drink some some shit
Speaker:you drink like a gallon of no
Speaker:you drink stuff to make you shit
Speaker:Jamie right
Speaker:lots of shits explosive
Speaker:intentional shit powerful
Speaker:I like that word
Speaker:intentional yeah
Speaker:well doctors are assholes yeah
Speaker:I don't intentionally invoke diarrhea for fun
Speaker:I've never had an unintentional shit that went well
Speaker:right I asked you that once
Speaker:and you completely scared of the question
Speaker:and I'm gonna make you uncomfortable
Speaker:I asked you the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:and you already told me huh
Speaker:3 months old yeah
Speaker:I used to shit my pants like that and like
Speaker:come on well
Speaker:when we started talking
Speaker:you would send me these cute little surveys
Speaker:so wasn't like out of nowhere you said
Speaker:when's the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:was the survey
Speaker:not a survey
Speaker:a questionnaire
Speaker:yeah and one of the questions was
Speaker:when's the last time you shit your pants
Speaker:and I said I think when I was a baby
Speaker:I was trying to answer honestly
Speaker:I can't remember
Speaker:the last time I did that
Speaker:pretty good control
Speaker:I'm not sure what's gonna happen
Speaker:I feel like I have pretty good
Speaker:control down there
Speaker:I'm not sure what's gonna happen
Speaker:after your friend puts a camera in my asshole oh
Speaker:you're you're toast
Speaker:I don't know if it's gonna ruin my
Speaker:muscles that I've
Speaker:they've they've worked really
Speaker:really well so far
Speaker:but you know what
Speaker:you you had um
Speaker:I answered honestly
Speaker:by no way I know
Speaker:so what is it
Speaker:what was it
Speaker:I kinda remember oh
Speaker:sure your pants at work
Speaker:yes absolutely
Speaker:I was doing a procedure
Speaker:I was excising a lesion of someone
Speaker:I had just anesthetized them
Speaker:and I went out of the room
Speaker:when they were prepped to get
Speaker:something and
Speaker:I took a chance
Speaker:and I gambled
Speaker:wrong you did
Speaker:I had a horrible stomach
Speaker:flu and well
Speaker:stuff happened
Speaker:and instead of cancelling the day
Speaker:the patient was already there
Speaker:I um proceeded to continue yeah
Speaker:that's a doctor
Speaker:thing right
Speaker:you gotta go in when you're tired
Speaker:you gotta go in when you're sick
Speaker:and accidents
Speaker:happen yeah
Speaker:what do you do
Speaker:at that point
Speaker:you excuse yourself because of a shower in the hospital
Speaker:what do you do
Speaker:oh I've shit myself so many times at work
Speaker:and I peed my pants at work
Speaker:I've had horrible things happen
Speaker:when did are there
Speaker:you work through it
Speaker:I've actually
Speaker:worked through it
Speaker:so you're not
Speaker:you don't even
Speaker:get a break
Speaker:it's not not even like an airline
Speaker:lounge where you could
Speaker:I was on call
Speaker:and I was the only doctor
Speaker:who was available
Speaker:we couldn't get back up
Speaker:so I was carrying
Speaker:a basin around the hospital
Speaker:because I was actively vomiting
Speaker:wow and this is not a bragging thing
Speaker:you don't wanna be sick at work
Speaker:no of course not
Speaker:um do we gotta do
Speaker:so when you're on call
Speaker:that means like
Speaker:even if you're not
Speaker:even if you're not in the room
Speaker:if they need someone to shit
Speaker:they call you
Speaker:oh my god so no
Speaker:like I would have to take care of a patient at like
Speaker:2:00am yeah
Speaker:I just finished vomiting
Speaker:got the page
Speaker:ran up to the room
Speaker:ran the code so did CPR
Speaker:resuscitated
Speaker:whatever I had to do
Speaker:and then came back to my call room and
Speaker:stay there for a few more hours
Speaker:and I've never gambled and lost
Speaker:except for actual gambling
Speaker:you say that
Speaker:I would tell you the truth no
Speaker:I've gambled and lost money no
Speaker:I've never gambled and lost
Speaker:of what we're talking about
Speaker:I don't believe you
Speaker:hmm I can't think of that
Speaker:I'm not I'm not
Speaker:have a great memory
Speaker:if I think of one
Speaker:I'll fess up to
Speaker:but I do not think I've gambled and lost
Speaker:I think the most interesting thing is
Speaker:as a physician
Speaker:we talk about this
Speaker:all the time
Speaker:yeah all the time
Speaker:and all my friends are
Speaker:we talk about this
Speaker:as a comedian
Speaker:we talk about this a lot too
Speaker:shitting yourself
Speaker:we'll have round table
Speaker:discussions
Speaker:at dinner right
Speaker:talking about like
Speaker:the craziest case we saw
Speaker:or who got covered in the most disgusting
Speaker:stuff that day yeah
Speaker:and we'll just eat
Speaker:right along with it
Speaker:I know I noticed that
Speaker:right away with you
Speaker:I noticed that
Speaker:you did not get grossed out by stuff
Speaker:and we were talking
Speaker:and you go hold on
Speaker:give me one second
Speaker:I'm on this
Speaker:like you're on some sort of text
Speaker:thread with a bunch of guys
Speaker:talking about balls
Speaker:oh yeah remember
Speaker:and there was like a
Speaker:there was like a house
Speaker:level like house
Speaker:the TV show
Speaker:Doctor House
Speaker:never watched it
Speaker:I've never watched
Speaker:almost every single doctor show out there
Speaker:I hate them
Speaker:wow house is the one where
Speaker:it's usually a
Speaker:super uncommon
Speaker:yeah and you
Speaker:you had like
Speaker:a house level
Speaker:testicle situation
Speaker:and you guys were
Speaker:you guys were doing a
Speaker:what is it called
Speaker:you're brainstorming
Speaker:but it was like
Speaker:you're making
Speaker:like a think tank
Speaker:yeah about what was wrong
Speaker:with this man's balls
Speaker:yeah remember
Speaker:what it was
Speaker:I don't we never found out pain
Speaker:pain in the balls
Speaker:no he had um
Speaker:multiple punctate
Speaker:calcifications
Speaker:throughout his testes
Speaker:had no idea
Speaker:what the ideology was
Speaker:though we still
Speaker:to this day
Speaker:haven't figured it out
Speaker:I mean it was like
Speaker:gunpowder like burns
Speaker:which are pathologic burns
Speaker:no it's painful
Speaker:it's pathologic
Speaker:for like an other
Speaker:disease process
Speaker:but that's what we
Speaker:described in his
Speaker:scrotum as well
Speaker:but he had like
Speaker:on imaging it was
Speaker:like Christmas
Speaker:lights of Calcium
Speaker:all throughout
Speaker:his testicles
Speaker:and we honestly
Speaker:had no idea why
Speaker:he developed
Speaker:them there and uh
Speaker:nowhere else
Speaker:but it's excruciating
Speaker:painful and
Speaker:I think it's kinda cool
Speaker:because I mean
Speaker:you've got doctors
Speaker:all in their free time
Speaker:working together
Speaker:brainstorming
Speaker:to come up with an answer
Speaker:yeah on our
Speaker:off hours so yeah
Speaker:I like working
Speaker:stuff up like that
Speaker:he wasn't my patient
Speaker:so I didn't have to follow up
Speaker:he was just a friend
Speaker:who was asking like
Speaker:hey what would you do
Speaker:and so I talked to him about
Speaker:like the labs that I would order and yeah
Speaker:with a urologist
Speaker:friend of mine
Speaker:we kind of worked through it
Speaker:but unfortunately
Speaker:he was lost
Speaker:to follow up with
Speaker:the other system
Speaker:so I don't know
Speaker:what happened
Speaker:that's a serious issue right
Speaker:a guy's ball
Speaker:oh yeah he goes to the emergency room
Speaker:his balls hurt whatever
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:you told me once
Speaker:it fascinated me no
Speaker:you you asked me
Speaker:why are the balls
Speaker:on the outside of the body
Speaker:it seems to me
Speaker:like a design flaw
Speaker:it seems to me like
Speaker:that's a very
Speaker:tender thing
Speaker:it is kind of a flaw
Speaker:yeah aesthetically okay
Speaker:and also no
Speaker:I don't think so
Speaker:I'm so used to seeing them
Speaker:you know you don't know if you get older
Speaker:because you see yourself every day
Speaker:yeah see my balls a lot
Speaker:I'm used to them being there
Speaker:if they were gone tomorrow
Speaker:I'd be like
Speaker:where those guys go
Speaker:would you miss them though
Speaker:I think so yeah
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:definitely would miss them
Speaker:but I see you not having them
Speaker:well and then did I get
Speaker:I try to guess why balls are on the outside of the body
Speaker:cause it does seem like an engineering flaw
Speaker:and is it something to do with the temperature of the
Speaker:I think I guess wrong
Speaker:I don't wanna steal your answer
Speaker:cause you told me the answer
Speaker:but I thought something like
Speaker:I don't remember what I thought
Speaker:but some was sperm
Speaker:yeah that's exactly right
Speaker:so sperm actually survive at a lower
Speaker:temperature than her core body temperature
Speaker:so if your scrotum was inside of your body
Speaker:it would be a higher temperature
Speaker:and they probably wouldn't survive
Speaker:well not probably
Speaker:they wouldn't survive
Speaker:so if my balls were on the inside of my body
Speaker:you know how much more money I would have saved
Speaker:right now what
Speaker:cause I wouldn't have any children
Speaker:oh my God bad joke
Speaker:so you're saying haha
Speaker:they're on the outside of the body
Speaker:because that's the temperature
Speaker:they need to be at room temperature
Speaker:you gotta have your balls at room temperature
Speaker:well I don't know
Speaker:I haven't exactly measured
Speaker:the sperm's temperature of choice
Speaker:but yeah they like to have a colder environment okay
Speaker:than the rest of our body
Speaker:so basically it's a mechanism that's been
Speaker:effective for helping with fertility you know
Speaker:from now on
Speaker:I'm gonna say sperm temperature
Speaker:instead of room temperature
Speaker:because that's the idea on that
Speaker:like when people out for your water
Speaker:I just bought shoes the other day and they go
Speaker:you want a room temperature or cold
Speaker:you're gonna get punched in the face
Speaker:if you say that to a waiter
Speaker:I don't think you can say that oh uh
Speaker:can I get one sperm temperature flat
Speaker:no gross do you ever get that question though
Speaker:they go do you want room temperature
Speaker:sperm temperature or cold
Speaker:no what would you say to water cold right
Speaker:I don't prefer cold water
Speaker:it hurts my teeth holy shit
Speaker:I was about to say
Speaker:they should just go
Speaker:are you wow
Speaker:I thought I did not
Speaker:I stand corrected
Speaker:it hurts your teeth okay
Speaker:are you drinking it
Speaker:are you opening your mouth before you drink
Speaker:how is it hurting your teeth
Speaker:you mean old
Speaker:you mean the temperature water
Speaker:when you drink cold substances
Speaker:yeah if you have sensitive enamel issues
Speaker:then it's cold alright
Speaker:do you prefer sperm temperature water
Speaker:I told you oh my God
Speaker:I'm never drinking water again now um Ew
Speaker:I don't know what happened
Speaker:I don't know how we got to hear from the colonoscopy
Speaker:but basically
Speaker:oh the I don't know
Speaker:prevention things like that
Speaker:so I got this colonoscopy coming up
Speaker:I gotta drink this uh
Speaker:gallon of Gatorade or something after shit
Speaker:violently and not excited about it
Speaker:I'm sure other guys have been through it
Speaker:did I tell you that
Speaker:um how often you have to have
Speaker:once you have your first one
Speaker:we've decided that's now 45 years old now 50
Speaker:once you have your first one
Speaker:how often do I need a colonoscopy
Speaker:uh so if it's normal 10 years
Speaker:if you have no substantial personal or family
Speaker:medical history
Speaker:that would make us want to do it earlier
Speaker:and your screening is completely normal 10 years
Speaker:everything you say triggers me
Speaker:I'm like oh
Speaker:it's not normal oh
Speaker:you're fine
Speaker:I'm just curious
Speaker:are you mostly concerned about the prep
Speaker:or are you mostly
Speaker:concerned about something going up your ass
Speaker:because I get a lot of both
Speaker:and I try to dispel that and tell people
Speaker:it's totally fine on both
Speaker:both aspect you know
Speaker:it's weird what you just said to me what
Speaker:that's an interesting question
Speaker:are you more concerned about the prep
Speaker:or something going into your ass
Speaker:uh huh that's what I like to say to girls
Speaker:when I bring back to my Jamie
Speaker:that's how I open up Jamie
Speaker:what are you most concerned
Speaker:I'm trying to be like
Speaker:I could find out
Speaker:so I am absolutely
Speaker:you're not gonna believe this
Speaker:I am concerned about
Speaker:uh option C
Speaker:the results
Speaker:so like the first
Speaker:I believe that that's why a lot of people prevent
Speaker:doing it in the first place
Speaker:or just refuse to do it
Speaker:cause they're scared for what they'll find yeah
Speaker:I got cause I'll do
Speaker:I'm either prep
Speaker:I'm I'm kind of excited about
Speaker:cause I feel like I might
Speaker:might maybe kind of lean
Speaker:what drinking a lot of water
Speaker:you'll finally have a shit your pants answer for me
Speaker:yes cool but that
Speaker:excites me to do something weird like that
Speaker:I don't that doesn't bother me
Speaker:I don't wanna do it at your house
Speaker:well no I guess we decided we we
Speaker:I was gonna stay at a hotel
Speaker:and then the day you go
Speaker:would you wanna just stay upstairs
Speaker:I don't think anyone's gonna hear anything
Speaker:but then we're on here
Speaker:and you said words like explosive
Speaker:I think the word violent might have been used uh
Speaker:I think what was the other one
Speaker:but not voluntary
Speaker:but intentional
Speaker:intentionally
Speaker:invoke diary
Speaker:but the thing is
Speaker:I like to poke fun at it
Speaker:because in medicine
Speaker:doctors have to have a sense of humor
Speaker:or a lot of what we do
Speaker:yeah and it gets to us
Speaker:in all honesty
Speaker:it's not that bad
Speaker:I've done it
Speaker:I've personally had a cold
Speaker:just you know
Speaker:and um the purpose is not difficult
Speaker:I think what's hard is you're awake all night
Speaker:so you're tired
Speaker:but it's not gonna
Speaker:be like violently ripping through your body
Speaker:you'll be okay
Speaker:I'm not worried about that
Speaker:I'm more worried about
Speaker:like someone hearing me or seem like
Speaker:oh do you know
Speaker:we've been dating
Speaker:for how long
Speaker:do you think
Speaker:we've been dating
Speaker:what do you want
Speaker:what do you want to say
Speaker:like a year
Speaker:yeah okay so maybe like a year
Speaker:I am I hope that you are under the impression that
Speaker:I do not defecate
Speaker:it's never happened
Speaker:never done in front of you
Speaker:I think one time
Speaker:I couldn't get out
Speaker:let me just
Speaker:can I say some honestly
Speaker:oh boy when we're at uh
Speaker:we were at Bergman
Speaker:where were we
Speaker:and we're in like Florida
Speaker:we're at Port Charlotte
Speaker:Florida right
Speaker:and we're staying at this hotel
Speaker:that was not
Speaker:it was not super awesome
Speaker:the hotel was not super awesome
Speaker:and I think I told you I go
Speaker:you know what I'm gonna go do
Speaker:I go I'm gonna go do some pull UPS
Speaker:you did the fitness room right
Speaker:and I think I did this twice
Speaker:I think it says you do pull UPS
Speaker:can I tell you some of the truth
Speaker:there is no fitness room at that hotel Jamie
Speaker:you lying son of a bitch
Speaker:not only there's not even a fitness room
Speaker:why'd you lie to me
Speaker:I went to use the restroom
Speaker:you should've just said you know
Speaker:i'mma step out for a bit okay
Speaker:I'mma hang out with my friend uh huh
Speaker:not fully a lie yeah
Speaker:I said but it's funny because I knew yeah
Speaker:you came back and you had this facial expression
Speaker:I did um um
Speaker:did a couple sets of push outs
Speaker:I told you how gross then one time
Speaker:there's only one time
Speaker:I don't even like talking about this
Speaker:I just feel like
Speaker:could we go through say we got married or something
Speaker:do you get to a point where you
Speaker:I'll be honest with you
Speaker:I've never been comfortable with pooping stuff
Speaker:like I see married couple stuff
Speaker:and there's a doors open and there's like
Speaker:I don't I think you have to maintain
Speaker:keep in mind
Speaker:I'm not a doctor
Speaker:not a therapist
Speaker:I'm not anything I think
Speaker:there has to be some things that we keep to ourselves
Speaker:for intimacy reasons
Speaker:I don't mind seeing somebody pee
Speaker:but I feel like once it goes to like
Speaker:I mean if you're in a hotel room or Disneyland
Speaker:someone's got to go in there
Speaker:there's nothing anyone can do fine
Speaker:but I think a daily hey
Speaker:come on in and smell my shit is gonna be a slow erosion
Speaker:of intimacy okay
Speaker:I'll make sure to never do that then no
Speaker:I what did you
Speaker:would you thought
Speaker:would you have disagreed before I said that
Speaker:um I think I have a much higher
Speaker:level of tolerance for that type of activity
Speaker:based on my line of work yeah okay
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:blatant unnecessary farting
Speaker:for example
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:I'm not exactly gonna be like oh yeah
Speaker:strike me back on your motorcycle
Speaker:let's go back to when you were 16 like right
Speaker:be back I love it
Speaker:I don't like the farting thingy
Speaker:that can't buy me uncomfortable talking about it
Speaker:I guess we should look back to
Speaker:what's gonna happen to you after you're cool enough
Speaker:okay when I pick you up
Speaker:I don't like farting talk uh oh
Speaker:I don't like
Speaker:I'm not into it
Speaker:I don't like the jokes
Speaker:I think when kids do it or it makes a noise it's funny
Speaker:but I must have grown up
Speaker:is this part of a
Speaker:is that in the Bible
Speaker:is this part of a case
Speaker:cause I feel like I have a sex guilt
Speaker:a pleasure guilt
Speaker:I also have like a fart it
Speaker:is that in there I don't
Speaker:did somebody get in trouble for farting in the Bible
Speaker:I think you're
Speaker:do you go to hell
Speaker:if you fart in front of a girl or something
Speaker:cause I have a weird what
Speaker:I just have a weird feeling about it guys too
Speaker:I don't think I'd fart in front of a guy
Speaker:I know it's weird right
Speaker:what I don't
Speaker:what I feel like
Speaker:that's interestingly odd
Speaker:yeah first of all
Speaker:I like it thank you
Speaker:you're much more attractive to me
Speaker:because you don't do any of that stuff
Speaker:you're like a perfect man
Speaker:I do do it you're like a Ken doll
Speaker:you're so nice to look at
Speaker:and you just don't do anything gross
Speaker:sometimes when I'm
Speaker:when I'm leaving you
Speaker:I go God I'm so sad
Speaker:I have to fly away
Speaker:what I do to save your shit
Speaker:ha ha ha and I know that's true
Speaker:I know it's true
Speaker:I know it's true I do well
Speaker:so just get
Speaker:maybe this would be the thing
Speaker:you're most uncomfortable
Speaker:now that we talk about it okay
Speaker:um you are going to rip ass
Speaker:when I pick you up from the procedure
Speaker:will they insufflate you insufflate
Speaker:pump you full of air
Speaker:okay not always
Speaker:but with the procedure
Speaker:the way that it goes
Speaker:and when you're looking at things
Speaker:there's a lot of air that goes into you so
Speaker:after the procedure
Speaker:you're super loopy
Speaker:you're not gonna remember anything
Speaker:and that's when I get to mess with you
Speaker:it'll be funny
Speaker:cause I can ask you questions
Speaker:and you'll probably answer honestly
Speaker:and say silly things oh yeah
Speaker:and then you're just gonna be farting like crazy
Speaker:is it a I hate fuck
Speaker:I hate all of this
Speaker:is there like an Uber
Speaker:should I take
Speaker:can I take an Uber
Speaker:you're not gonna have the ability to like no
Speaker:is there like an Uber X crew
Speaker:so I'm gonna hear it
Speaker:is there that
Speaker:poor Uber driver
Speaker:you know how they charge you an extra fee if you walk
Speaker:in your car
Speaker:that should be like 100 dollar surcharge
Speaker:just for coming home from a colonoscopy
Speaker:there should be hazard pay
Speaker:for driving a man home from colonoscopy
Speaker:or at least like
Speaker:some type of partitions
Speaker:I don't have to smell it
Speaker:yeah yeah shit
Speaker:quite literally
Speaker:my love it just
Speaker:all joking aside
Speaker:not not comfortable
Speaker:don't know what's gonna happen
Speaker:but maybe that's good
Speaker:it's good to get out of your comfort zone
Speaker:and you're a doctor
Speaker:so maybe things are different
Speaker:maybe you've seen more things
Speaker:you I've done
Speaker:colonoscopies I think um
Speaker:I think you're in good hands
Speaker:I think it's funny that my friend is doing yours yeah
Speaker:that's weird
Speaker:I've never even seen your butthole
Speaker:but my friend gets to touch it
Speaker:oh my God gets to
Speaker:use the term gets to in a lot of places
Speaker:where I would think you would say the other day
Speaker:you were like oh
Speaker:I got to break this guy's nose for a procedure oh
Speaker:I loved doing
Speaker:but are you supposed to get to
Speaker:well get to for touching your butthole sound
Speaker:I was saying that physiciously
Speaker:I didn't mean that
Speaker:no physician would be inappropriate like that weird
Speaker:but saying gets to break a nose oh
Speaker:it was a privilege
Speaker:like it was truly like an honor
Speaker:I was so excited
Speaker:that I got to be the one that got to break the nose
Speaker:I was helping them
Speaker:I wasn't hurting them
Speaker:I hear what you're saying
Speaker:big difference
Speaker:I'm not into butthole stuff
Speaker:but my penis didn't move when you said that
Speaker:Ew just the
Speaker:just the willingness Ew
Speaker:okay moving on
Speaker:so colonoscopy is this stuff I get what do I get
Speaker:when it's a drug situation
Speaker:you're gonna have a sedative
Speaker:um you'll be awake
Speaker:but pretty significant sedation
Speaker:you don't need a breathing tube or anything like that
Speaker:like they don't put you fully under what
Speaker:I thought I was completely out
Speaker:and then I just wake up and it's done
Speaker:you'll feel
Speaker:yeah you'll be
Speaker:you'll be sleeping
Speaker:but you still breathe on your own oh
Speaker:I see what you're saying
Speaker:it's not like when you have like massive
Speaker:major surgery where you're anesthetized um
Speaker:where we give like a paralytic
Speaker:you stop breathing on your own
Speaker:you have to have an intubation
Speaker:so they'll breathe for you
Speaker:anesthesiology is there for several hours
Speaker:making sure that everything's going well
Speaker:you don't have all of that
Speaker:you usually have like a
Speaker:a nurse anesthetist monitoring
Speaker:but it's nothing severe and it's outpatient
Speaker:so it's not like
Speaker:I have so many thoughts
Speaker:first of all
Speaker:I think I might have said this on Gutfeld once
Speaker:but did I did I ever tell you that I used to think
Speaker:local anesthesia meant that we got it from like
Speaker:around here
Speaker:yes I thought it was like honey
Speaker:like you like
Speaker:oh I like to use the local anesthesia
Speaker:it's good for my allergies
Speaker:that's true
Speaker:that's not a joke
Speaker:then I was thinking
Speaker:anesthesia allergies must make a lot of money
Speaker:they are one of the highest
Speaker:compensated physicians out there
Speaker:you know why
Speaker:I guess that
Speaker:I feel like the
Speaker:the the risk
Speaker:the liability yeah
Speaker:like imagine if you
Speaker:practice is incredibly expensive for them insurance
Speaker:cause when I worked at Arby's
Speaker:if I made a huge mistake
Speaker:that might mean I put horsey sauce on a super
Speaker:horsey sauce doesn't go on a super
Speaker:that's Arby's sauce
Speaker:this guy makes a mistake he's like
Speaker:okay wake up
Speaker:you're all done
Speaker:hello wake up
Speaker:like shit yeah
Speaker:that's like a serious
Speaker:you have a good with dosages yeah
Speaker:they also have one of the highest
Speaker:rates of physician suicide too
Speaker:they have access to all of oh
Speaker:I didn't mean to be a downer
Speaker:it's just it's every specialty
Speaker:oh access to
Speaker:cause it's easier
Speaker:they have access to the drugs or they know how yeah
Speaker:can I get a very serious question
Speaker:this is very serious
Speaker:I have once before been completely
Speaker:or partially
Speaker:consciously put out
Speaker:I had a some kind of thing in the
Speaker:my back or something
Speaker:I don't even know
Speaker:and they did a thing
Speaker:they put a mask on
Speaker:they go count backwards from 10
Speaker:and you go 10
Speaker:9 and then you go
Speaker:what's happening
Speaker:and they go
Speaker:you're done yep right
Speaker:why are we afraid of dying
Speaker:no what would have happened
Speaker:if I didn't wake up that day nothing
Speaker:so I have no memory
Speaker:of that time being out
Speaker:so I don't understand
Speaker:why the big fear of
Speaker:I have it too
Speaker:but I just was thinking about if you or
Speaker:or to take it to an even sillier thing
Speaker:like if you go to sleep
Speaker:I feel like dying is so much harder
Speaker:on the people that are still around
Speaker:but it's weird that we all have this crazy fear of our
Speaker:of not existing very
Speaker:I realize I took a turn from
Speaker:assholes to drugs to
Speaker:you don't have to
Speaker:I think the problem is with my profession
Speaker:I'm trained to prolong
Speaker:inevitable as much as possible right
Speaker:so death to a doctor
Speaker:is almost like you failed at your job hmm
Speaker:so we hate it because we haven't been able to keep
Speaker:station alive yeah
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:but I I have a fear of death
Speaker:I think also because of the pain
Speaker:cause I've seen a lot of people die
Speaker:in horrible fashions
Speaker:in front of me
Speaker:and that's been tough oh
Speaker:so yeah if you could just go to sleep yeah
Speaker:that's great
Speaker:that's the best way
Speaker:right sleep die
Speaker:that's what I'd like to do oh my gosh
Speaker:it may have had to choose
Speaker:I don't want to
Speaker:worst for me drowning
Speaker:I don't want to talk about this
Speaker:okay I'm sorry
Speaker:I almost drowned once
Speaker:it was terrible
Speaker:why um anyway
Speaker:sorry about that
Speaker:no it's just
Speaker:doctors are sidebar
Speaker:you can see how uncomfortable I am
Speaker:yes I'm sorry
Speaker:doctors don't like death
Speaker:we just don't like
Speaker:except hospice doctors
Speaker:oh really good people
Speaker:I didn't mean to make a light of it
Speaker:I was just thinking like
Speaker:as a person
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:one of the most beautiful women
Speaker:in the sense of beautiful
Speaker:like a beautiful soul was
Speaker:my dad went to hospice
Speaker:like when he had three months to live
Speaker:they go to this
Speaker:it's like a nice house
Speaker:and there's a beautiful thing
Speaker:and the people that worked there
Speaker:you're right
Speaker:it was like
Speaker:a different kind of human being you know
Speaker:and they're really good at going like
Speaker:make sure you say stuff
Speaker:don't forget to say that
Speaker:all the sudden
Speaker:it's gonna happen faster than you think
Speaker:and I'll never forget this lady
Speaker:I wish I'd remembered her name
Speaker:I remember her name
Speaker:I just remember her being like
Speaker:a special kind of person
Speaker:yeah you know
Speaker:I have an immense amount of respect for hospice um
Speaker:professionals yeah
Speaker:it's a tough job
Speaker:so you know
Speaker:I actually chose my profession
Speaker:one of the reasons
Speaker:was because my patients
Speaker:tend to be really healthy
Speaker:and I hated it when they died
Speaker:and I wanted one that had a very low likelihood of
Speaker:death rates
Speaker:yeah that makes sense
Speaker:so that's why I love what I do
Speaker:because very few people actually die
Speaker:yeah I was thinking about some of the
Speaker:yeah for real
Speaker:that would be really
Speaker:really tough way to make a living
Speaker:like to deal with that thing in a day out
Speaker:but I mean we need those people
Speaker:so I'm psyched that they are able to do that
Speaker:but I I totally understand
Speaker:you know I got a text from my friend earlier today
Speaker:when we were recording The Butthole Doctor
Speaker:not the one that's doing my guy
Speaker:you got two guys
Speaker:I do I have two
Speaker:what's he saying
Speaker:what's what's going on with him
Speaker:oh we were just I was asking about work and stuff
Speaker:but I just think it's funny that
Speaker:that's how I describe my friends
Speaker:yeah butthole guy 1 or butthole guy 2 yeah
Speaker:you're like skin guy
Speaker:yeah you have a lot of friends
Speaker:you got derm dude
Speaker:yep you got two butthole guys
Speaker:I have one penis doctor
Speaker:I'm really good friends with
Speaker:you do yeah
Speaker:she's a female urologist wow
Speaker:great conversations
Speaker:I'll bet is she married dating ugh
Speaker:can't say I don't mean for me I mean
Speaker:is that weird that a doctor sees a bunch of being
Speaker:it just seems like a lot of competition
Speaker:well I was just gonna say
Speaker:I liked your joke when you were on stage
Speaker:talking about how you're happy
Speaker:that your girlfriend is a women's health doctor
Speaker:oh yeah yeah
Speaker:about how like
Speaker:you would not be very comfortable if I saw a bunch of
Speaker:male anatomy oh yeah
Speaker:that's right yeah
Speaker:I I did say that my best friend
Speaker:one of my best friends from intern year in residency
Speaker:is a female urologist
Speaker:that's what she does
Speaker:and she's married okay
Speaker:and I'm sure it's same thing
Speaker:it's just work whatever
Speaker:but I just don't think
Speaker:I feel pretty sure in in myself
Speaker:but I don't
Speaker:I don't know if I just would want my girlfriend
Speaker:likes every day coming in like a
Speaker:do you need that kind of temptation
Speaker:you're like oh my God
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:they came in that size of that color oh
Speaker:it's temptation
Speaker:you see all the bad stuff
Speaker:she's probably like
Speaker:oh thank God
Speaker:right normal
Speaker:healthy one
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:that makes sense
Speaker:how about that
Speaker:you know how I said that as a comedian
Speaker:we would invite people to our shows in order to hit on
Speaker:um like a girl or something
Speaker:do you think that a female urologist would go like
Speaker:come on in here
Speaker:no not necessarily urologist
Speaker:but you think that would be a way to hit on
Speaker:absolutely not
Speaker:I was thinking that when I was like oh
Speaker:how would I like
Speaker:set up the first perfect date for a guy
Speaker:I would never bring you into my office
Speaker:I hate it when I get hit on at work yeah
Speaker:worst I hate it too well
Speaker:I know you do
Speaker:but I'm like in the mentality of professional
Speaker:and then I have to basically say like listen
Speaker:we're gonna keep it going right
Speaker:never talk to me like that again or you're done
Speaker:what's the worst thing anyone's ever said
Speaker:one time I was um
Speaker:I just treated a guy for chlamydia and
Speaker:you asked me
Speaker:almost almost spit out coffee
Speaker:this is crazy
Speaker:why I do it all the time no
Speaker:but I mean you're no no
Speaker:no I know but I mean
Speaker:if you're gonna
Speaker:you're about to tell me
Speaker:he hits on you or something after this
Speaker:this is this is a great story
Speaker:I don't think I've ever told you about this
Speaker:so I was a resident
Speaker:so I was an actual doctor on rotation in
Speaker:inner city Detroit
Speaker:and we were working at a low income
Speaker:clinic that doubled as like a homeless clinic yeah
Speaker:and this patient came in
Speaker:and he had uh
Speaker:all the symptoms tested positive
Speaker:so we had given him treatment
Speaker:and as I'm leaving
Speaker:across the hall
Speaker:the other door is open and another guy
Speaker:and you know
Speaker:patient confidentiality
Speaker:we always keep the door shut
Speaker:but these guys open the doors at the same time
Speaker:I can help that
Speaker:and he looks at him and he looks at him
Speaker:he's like hey man
Speaker:what you in here for okay
Speaker:the guy gets like prison
Speaker:and I'm thinking
Speaker:they're not gonna say right
Speaker:what's in here for
Speaker:and then the other guy goes
Speaker:probably same thing as you man yeah
Speaker:cause of blank yeah
Speaker:and then and then they said the girl's name
Speaker:they were both banging
Speaker:yes they did
Speaker:no I was just kidding
Speaker:no they were dead serious
Speaker:you're kidding me
Speaker:so we treated them both
Speaker:and gave them education on how to have safe sex
Speaker:cause everybody should have as much sex as they want
Speaker:wow and they obviously didn't have it
Speaker:and the second guy on the way out said
Speaker:wow thanks DOC
Speaker:are you single
Speaker:the comedy guy
Speaker:and he looked at me and he said
Speaker:I also need a prescription for Viagra
Speaker:so on the confidence
Speaker:so he asked me for my phone number so
Speaker:and I gave him the doctor as working with business card
Speaker:and walked away
Speaker:so let me ask you this question
Speaker:so that was very awkward
Speaker:let me ask you this follow question
Speaker:he's back at your house
Speaker:you guys are talking
Speaker:Jamie I just remember how
Speaker:the other story started off so horribly
Speaker:and then you guys are playing records and kissing
Speaker:I didn't kiss him
Speaker:the other guy you did
Speaker:I just kissed him
Speaker:nothing else happened
Speaker:yeah oh I know
Speaker:I just you for some extra
Speaker:so that's but the balls
Speaker:the balls on these got like to be able to
Speaker:I can't ask a girl to have to go
Speaker:I check that box
Speaker:chlamydia also
Speaker:I need Viagra
Speaker:which means I can't even keep it
Speaker:and then to go
Speaker:can I have your phone number
Speaker:can you imagine
Speaker:I've gotten hit on multiple times
Speaker:for men asking me for Viagra
Speaker:unbelievable
Speaker:I don't understand it
Speaker:I don't either
Speaker:yeah what were you thinking about
Speaker:I was thinking that I would surprise you
Speaker:that the chlamydia didn't really bother me
Speaker:the Viagra bothered me
Speaker:I treat chlamydia all the time but the
Speaker:it's chlamydia
Speaker:sorry to interrupt
Speaker:just chlamydia
Speaker:you can cure it yeah
Speaker:very easy to try okay
Speaker:nice and the
Speaker:the why is the Viagra bother you
Speaker:cause the person it would
Speaker:that would be tough to have a relationship with
Speaker:someone who couldn't get it up
Speaker:or the fact that they wanna
Speaker:they used what is it
Speaker:what's an awkward conversation in general
Speaker:I don't like practicing men's health
Speaker:they don't do it very often
Speaker:when I have a male patient come in and say
Speaker:I'm here for a cough
Speaker:it's never a cough right
Speaker:it's always for that
Speaker:if I have a woman come in
Speaker:she'll say I'm having vaginal bleeding
Speaker:I'm having vaginal discharge
Speaker:and they own up to it
Speaker:and I often have patients who lie
Speaker:they lie to my m a
Speaker:so I go in the room thinking I'm treating a cough
Speaker:I get the whole work up in
Speaker:I look up all their labs or previous X rays
Speaker:I'm ready to go
Speaker:and they're like
Speaker:I'm just here because
Speaker:I want the Acra
Speaker:and I'm like
Speaker:dude just tell the truth
Speaker:but Erica is a man
Speaker:I get so far behind
Speaker:in my day I know
Speaker:so just own up to it
Speaker:but as a man
Speaker:if your penis doesn't work
Speaker:not speaking from experience
Speaker:but you wanna tell the fewest people possible
Speaker:that you're
Speaker:that your penis doesn't work right
Speaker:but you're in your healthcare setting
Speaker:where I've known you for years yeah
Speaker:but I'm telling you
Speaker:tell the receptionist and put it in form
Speaker:well yeah they lied to the receptions too
Speaker:I'm in the lobby
Speaker:they're like
Speaker:oh the guy this stick doesn't work
Speaker:it's your turn
Speaker:don't say that
Speaker:come on back
Speaker:and the other thing is
Speaker:I kind of don't like Viagra that much you don't
Speaker:I asked you if I could drink
Speaker:for a couple of reasons
Speaker:I'm bragging
Speaker:could I try that
Speaker:yeah you don't need it
Speaker:okay but remember I was like
Speaker:wouldn't it be fun
Speaker:and you said no
Speaker:I don't want guys who ask for it recreationally
Speaker:but the side effects too
Speaker:recreationally
Speaker:never thought about that
Speaker:well that's a problem though
Speaker:it's a medication
Speaker:the prescription was actually initially marketed
Speaker:well developed
Speaker:for hypertension
Speaker:so it's a phase of dilator
Speaker:it expands blood vessels all over your body
Speaker:including your penis
Speaker:it fills with blood
Speaker:so you get an erection
Speaker:that's usually going to last for longer
Speaker:do you know
Speaker:in the original study
Speaker:when it was to reduce hypertension
Speaker:when they come into the doctors
Speaker:the doctors thought
Speaker:they were just super psyched that they reduced
Speaker:their blood pressure
Speaker:cause they had huge erections
Speaker:this is really excited about their progress
Speaker:well the reason I don't like Viagra is
Speaker:a lot of men want it when they aren't
Speaker:appropriate candidates
Speaker:they already have problems with their blood pressure
Speaker:and they want it anyway
Speaker:right or they have underlying comorbidities
Speaker:such as diabetes
Speaker:where they can't have an erection
Speaker:and they don't want me to treat that
Speaker:they just want me to give them
Speaker:an erection
Speaker:and I have to explain to them
Speaker:I'm not trying to take away your social life
Speaker:I have to fix everything else
Speaker:but here's why
Speaker:how about you give a lot of guys directions
Speaker:by my prescriptions
Speaker:no I just mean you're unattractive
Speaker:thanks you're attractive woman
Speaker:that's why I practice
Speaker:please finish your thought
Speaker:and then I have a follow up question
Speaker:um if you actually look at the studies
Speaker:that Pfizer was doing with sildenophil
Speaker:so the generic for Viagra
Speaker:um in early studies
Speaker:they actually found that it helps substantially
Speaker:reducing menstrual pain in women
Speaker:and remember how we talked previously about how uh
Speaker:period pain is equivalent to heart attacks yes
Speaker:so they actually had pretty amazing early on
Speaker:evidence that it would help substantially eliminate
Speaker:significant pain during your menstrual cycle
Speaker:reducing mystase of work
Speaker:cutting back on lost job wages
Speaker:finances I mean
Speaker:there's a lot of stuff that goes into this
Speaker:right if women take Viagra
Speaker:yeah wow and so just to reiterate
Speaker:if anybody missed it
Speaker:period pain
Speaker:it when they tried to figure out like
Speaker:what that intensity felt like
Speaker:that was the equivalent to a man having a heart attack
Speaker:yeah that's unbelievable
Speaker:uh the cramping part
Speaker:cramping part
Speaker:uh huh yeah
Speaker:so this is what bothered me is the study even says it
Speaker:if you look at the printed material
Speaker:it says that they've had prelimed findings that were
Speaker:pretty substantially impressive to help reducing pain
Speaker:but at the same time
Speaker:they found out it gave men erections
Speaker:wow so they
Speaker:abandoned the study to help women with menstrual pain
Speaker:and dumped a lot into erection
Speaker:nice not even close
Speaker:not nice no
Speaker:cause you're saying they should have helped these women
Speaker:yeah and now the men
Speaker:they saw the money
Speaker:yep they go
Speaker:this is the
Speaker:this is like the magic pill
Speaker:wow um so that bothers me
Speaker:because they had pretty good evidence
Speaker:out there that they could have run with
Speaker:and it felt like um
Speaker:sex was chosen over chronic pain
Speaker:manager sex and money and greed
Speaker:yeah over that
Speaker:yeah absolutely
Speaker:isn't it crazy how many
Speaker:medications we discovered by mistake
Speaker:how many Medica
Speaker:isn't Rogaine one of those
Speaker:like people started growing hair
Speaker:wasn't there something
Speaker:it just started growing hair
Speaker:and someone's nipples or something
Speaker:or is that wrong
Speaker:well monoxidil has
Speaker:monoxidil yeah
Speaker:well penicillin
Speaker:like mold spores
Speaker:I mean I think that it's really interesting
Speaker:how we've developed a lot of modern medicine hmm
Speaker:yeah wild well
Speaker:I guess I'm not gonna try Viagra
Speaker:it's tempting
Speaker:as a guy you go
Speaker:you're not necessarily thinking like
Speaker:I can't perform in the bedroom
Speaker:you're going like
Speaker:Morse better
Speaker:like let's go more longer
Speaker:let's keep this going
Speaker:so it's like a fun
Speaker:almost like I'm awake
Speaker:but a coffee would make me more awake
Speaker:I'm not asleep
Speaker:I don't need coffee to wake up
Speaker:but it might be like a fun thing
Speaker:but you really warned me off that
Speaker:you were like
Speaker:you shouldn't take that
Speaker:no not at all
Speaker:I mean I'm very cautious to prescribing medication
Speaker:unnecessarily
Speaker:and you know
Speaker:I do think that they marketed it in a way that um
Speaker:tried to appeal to men
Speaker:by capitalizing on their side effect
Speaker:you know the side effect is
Speaker:you see the commercials
Speaker:what's the big side effect
Speaker:when they're like oh
Speaker:take Viagra
Speaker:but oh shit
Speaker:if you take this
Speaker:this could happen
Speaker:you're saying more people were like
Speaker:buy it now because of the side of it
Speaker:that was a trick
Speaker:they're saying like
Speaker:you might get a really long
Speaker:you might ever actually
Speaker:really long time exactly
Speaker:that's a great point
Speaker:yep it's called preopism
Speaker:and they'll say that if it lasted more than three hours
Speaker:you need to go to the er and have them treat you
Speaker:because you have this extremely powerful
Speaker:right crazy stamina erection
Speaker:those sons of bitches
Speaker:they're so clever
Speaker:I did not even think that's like them go like
Speaker:you know don't take very a side effects might include
Speaker:you might fuck a lot
Speaker:so it might
Speaker:you might miss appointments cause you're banging people
Speaker:you're right
Speaker:they're trying to
Speaker:the side effects was a positive thing
Speaker:I even think about that
Speaker:you know how many of my male patients
Speaker:when I go through the side effects
Speaker:before I prescribe it
Speaker:look at me like wait
Speaker:are you are you for real right now
Speaker:right like this is a bad thing
Speaker:but you do have to be careful
Speaker:occasionally that can happen and um
Speaker:you have a 4 hour erection yeah
Speaker:you know how you treat it
Speaker:blow jump Jamie
Speaker:no like even after you've ejaculated
Speaker:you still have an erection no
Speaker:what am I gonna do with that at this point
Speaker:well deal with it for a while and then
Speaker:so if it causes your blood flow to change after a while
Speaker:it can be quite damaging to um
Speaker:the tissue your your penis itself
Speaker:so they suggest injecting
Speaker:your penis with a shot of epidephrine
Speaker:needle to the dick
Speaker:so now you don't want Viagra
Speaker:that's the most painful thing to imagine hmm
Speaker:I don't think so
Speaker:where is it wearing
Speaker:to the right to the to the end of it
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:I've never had to do it
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:I'll take a four hour action see you in four hours
Speaker:he pulls out that needle
Speaker:he pulls out a needle
Speaker:your dick just immediately shrivels
Speaker:you don't even need the need or is like uh
Speaker:never mind I go
Speaker:you know what
Speaker:I'll see you in four hours
Speaker:I'm gonna just go
Speaker:hang out in a room with another four hours
Speaker:you want an eight hour erection now
Speaker:oh no I meant like in general
Speaker:if he's gonna do that to keep it down
Speaker:I might go let me see what I can do my own yeah
Speaker:I can come back in
Speaker:I didn't know that it happened
Speaker:I didn't know if it was after
Speaker:I didn't know if it was after
Speaker:I did not know it was after ejaculation
Speaker:it continued
Speaker:I never knew that
Speaker:I thought you're just like waiting and waiting
Speaker:it was a lot of anticipation
Speaker:and it was four hours and then you got the
Speaker:you couldn't finish
Speaker:yeah no but I will say
Speaker:and I don't wanna just like knock it
Speaker:cause I think fires on a lot of really good things also
Speaker:um I've seen women with
Speaker:Viagra as a prescription on their medical list
Speaker:hmm and as a student I was like
Speaker:what is this
Speaker:but it actually treats something called
Speaker:pulmonary hypertension
Speaker:it's one of the best medicines for it
Speaker:wow so um so Donna
Speaker:Phil can do a lot of good
Speaker:you blew my mind though
Speaker:that would be like with that side effect thing
Speaker:that it's a good thing
Speaker:you blew every
Speaker:like your cigarettes
Speaker:they're like hey
Speaker:we gotta warn ya
Speaker:if you smoke cigarettes
Speaker:like you're gonna look fucking cool yeah
Speaker:well they did that in their marketing
Speaker:right they did
Speaker:that's how they appealed to the masses
Speaker:especially youth
Speaker:yeah alright
Speaker:well that was super interesting
Speaker:so let me ask you a question about the colonoscopy
Speaker:I do it's so hard to not go back to
Speaker:you just must see so much stuff in um
Speaker:in those rooms
Speaker:those rooms
Speaker:you're alone
Speaker:you're alone with a guy oh
Speaker:and some no no
Speaker:I'm never alone oh
Speaker:oh I always have a chaperone yeah
Speaker:I know that
Speaker:I remember we're together last night
Speaker:and that guy was here
Speaker:I have a question
Speaker:I thought of a question
Speaker:what you ever seen an unnecessary
Speaker:you ever see an uh
Speaker:involuntary boner
Speaker:a couple times you have
Speaker:cause you know
Speaker:massuses and massage people
Speaker:you know there's got to be erections left and right
Speaker:I've seen some
Speaker:but like they had their clothes on thankfully
Speaker:didn't you tell me there's a way to
Speaker:there's this way to get rid of an erection
Speaker:well yeah my attending taught me that
Speaker:when we had to learn how to do a male exam
Speaker:and he basically took the
Speaker:his nail and flicked it into the head of the penis
Speaker:oh wow so now
Speaker:not as much scientific
Speaker:is just hitting something in the dick with your hand
Speaker:yeah I I could never do that
Speaker:like when he said that I was like
Speaker:is that a joke
Speaker:but he was dead serious he's like
Speaker:if someone does this to you in the room
Speaker:this is what you have to do
Speaker:and me and the other students were like
Speaker:the hell we will
Speaker:I feel like I'd get sued
Speaker:so we talked about
Speaker:colonoscopies
Speaker:hmm mine in particular
Speaker:yep we talked about what's gonna happen before
Speaker:the procedure itself's gonna be blink of an eye
Speaker:we talked about the aftermath you know
Speaker:they call it an anal wink
Speaker:what do you mean
Speaker:when you're testing the tone of your sphincter
Speaker:what are you talking about
Speaker:when you touch someone's butthole
Speaker:to make sure that they don't have any neurological
Speaker:compromise if I touch it
Speaker:it's a reflex
Speaker:to squeeze down
Speaker:so when you said blink of an eye
Speaker:you made me think of no
Speaker:for you it's an anal leak
Speaker:are you saying
Speaker:I'm just that
Speaker:you know when I hit
Speaker:that's how doctors make jokes okay
Speaker:is that a real thing yes
Speaker:so you you know how when I
Speaker:in my notes it'll say appropriate rectal tone
Speaker:yeah sometimes I'll say positive or present
Speaker:anal blink is that so
Speaker:so is this like when you hit me on the knee to check my
Speaker:my pterodactyl reflex
Speaker:yeah sure well
Speaker:yeah I mean
Speaker:it's a neurological
Speaker:response to make sure that you're neurologically intact
Speaker:you don't have a problem with your spinal cord
Speaker:I was with a girl once oh God
Speaker:and I don't like where this is going already
Speaker:yeah I'll do
Speaker:the girl wants it
Speaker:she's kind of facing no
Speaker:she's facing down and um
Speaker:she gave me an anal wink
Speaker:oh my gosh no
Speaker:I thought that might go ahead
Speaker:I thought that man had permission
Speaker:um I don't even
Speaker:I don't even know what to say to that one
Speaker:okay ain't a wink very interesting
Speaker:do you know what story that makes me think of
Speaker:no I don't wanna hear your stories
Speaker:mine are medically derived
Speaker:yours are like
Speaker:either fictitious or something that I really did
Speaker:fictitious well
Speaker:I'm hoping that you're making them up
Speaker:well the it's hard to figure out
Speaker:I would hope that you're talking about buttholes
Speaker:just to make me laugh
Speaker:but you never know
Speaker:a lot of people don't think about how hard consent is
Speaker:when the girls face the other way
Speaker:Jamie right
Speaker:that's not even a laughable one
Speaker:an anal wink is a way to go like oh
Speaker:I think I got the green light
Speaker:no yeah uh uh
Speaker:oh my God we call the anal green light
Speaker:so interesting
Speaker:I've never heard of the in a link before
Speaker:well I'm glad
Speaker:could you tell me what it means again
Speaker:you're saying it means our everything's doing well
Speaker:it's a natural reflex
Speaker:so it means your nerves are intact
Speaker:gotcha and your body goes
Speaker:oh don't like that
Speaker:and kind of tenses up gotcha
Speaker:and if it's relaxed
Speaker:sometimes you might have some neurological damage okay
Speaker:like someone's got someone's got a lazy brown eye yeah
Speaker:oh you liked that one didn't you
Speaker:yeah I just
Speaker:it's fun when you're talking about medical stuff to
Speaker:say stuff like that's super fascinating
Speaker:you don't know
Speaker:what is making me think that you're involved you know
Speaker:I'm privileges
Speaker:if you'd like me to go observe your colonoscopy
Speaker:I don't even think about that hmm
Speaker:I could be an assist
Speaker:what would you think
Speaker:I would of course not want that what would you think
Speaker:what would you think would you want you would know no
Speaker:no I don't want to be on anything
Speaker:it even mine a little too invasive with you
Speaker:I I'm curious when you are under
Speaker:how much consciousness you actually have
Speaker:like when you're not totally knocked out
Speaker:but you know what I'm gonna do
Speaker:if you're in there
Speaker:if I I'll wink at you if I
Speaker:with what I yeah
Speaker:all three ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah um
Speaker:do you know what the story I wanted to
Speaker:it's with you the wink
Speaker:what does the wink make you think of
Speaker:well now it's one of the hardest I've ever laughed at
Speaker:something you said in my whole life about winking oh
Speaker:oh the condom yeah
Speaker:what happened was all types of condoms
Speaker:there's condoms they sell at target and stuff and
Speaker:we use condoms and sometimes I go to a specialty
Speaker:store to see if they might have some higher end condoms
Speaker:and so I went to one of these places
Speaker:where condoms was the
Speaker:like there was a place that had a lot of stuff
Speaker:I didn't purchase had
Speaker:there were like whips and chains and things like that
Speaker:right yeah but a couple things with no whips or chains
Speaker:and they had high end uh
Speaker:they had high end uh
Speaker:condoms I thought
Speaker:so I bought these ones called
Speaker:they were wink brand
Speaker:and um it's
Speaker:uh oh my God
Speaker:this is probably a topic for another time
Speaker:but birth control and stuff like that
Speaker:but what happened was there was a
Speaker:there was a an error
Speaker:there was a
Speaker:what would you call it
Speaker:a mistake it uh
Speaker:it failed right
Speaker:like condoms are 99% effective
Speaker:this was that time when they are not
Speaker:and the unfortunate rupture
Speaker:well do you think it ruptured or do you think it fell
Speaker:like came off
Speaker:I thought it broke oh
Speaker:oh that was a different time Jeez
Speaker:was I there
Speaker:I don't know
Speaker:wink so haha
Speaker:wow I just got really uncomfortable
Speaker:no you of course
Speaker:you were there
Speaker:oh yes okay
Speaker:I fell off yeah
Speaker:yeah and then I was
Speaker:we are both very nervous
Speaker:cause obviously this is something we take seriously
Speaker:practicing the safe section everything
Speaker:but then you said
Speaker:I think in a way to diffuse the moment
Speaker:you were like
Speaker:oh that's like their selling point
Speaker:they're like
Speaker:yeah these condoms are really secure
Speaker:and nothing bad will happen
Speaker:wink and you said that when you're on top of me
Speaker:well I think
Speaker:cause you were like wow
Speaker:it felt really good
Speaker:I should have known it did
Speaker:and I was waiting for you to be like wink
Speaker:yeah they don't talk about that a lot but
Speaker:I'm not gonna say it
Speaker:yeah I know it did
Speaker:suddenly you have to be very scared that
Speaker:if it suddenly starts feeling way better for a guy
Speaker:I didn't notice
Speaker:you can't tell
Speaker:so crazy well
Speaker:like the ribbed kinds
Speaker:you can hmm
Speaker:you know when they're textured on the outside
Speaker:yeah that's why I'll say like for her pleasure
Speaker:whatever they'll put some that are textured
Speaker:is it for her pleasure
Speaker:is that pleasurable
Speaker:I consider it to be uncomfortable okay
Speaker:but I'm sure women
Speaker:some women must like it
Speaker:okay it helps actually with stimulation for your G spot
Speaker:G spot yeah
Speaker:is the G spot the same as the clitoris
Speaker:um well yes and no okay
Speaker:yes in the sense that we're all one organ right
Speaker:um and you can achieve climax from internal penetration
Speaker:or external simulation of the clitoris
Speaker:no in the sense that when you say G spot
Speaker:it's meaning specifically internal
Speaker:I see I see
Speaker:is that right
Speaker:well it's a neurovascular bundle
Speaker:it's basically a bunch of nerves
Speaker:like nerve endings
Speaker:wow so the sensitivity is like the tip of your penis
Speaker:essentially
Speaker:oh I see do you spot inside Clitoris outside
Speaker:yes yeah okay
Speaker:good to know
Speaker:on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:we have some questions coming in um
Speaker:some people are embarrassed to ask about masturbating
Speaker:which is a very natural thing
Speaker:so we'll get into some of that
Speaker:we have some question coming in about
Speaker:birth control and what kind of you know
Speaker:I think those are two really good topics
Speaker:and so we will um
Speaker:discuss those things
Speaker:and then my last question about the colonoscopy
Speaker:not joking was what do I
Speaker:this is what started your
Speaker:what do you call an anal wink uh huh
Speaker:what am I to expect in the days following the procedure
Speaker:can I play basketball
Speaker:oh you'll be fine right away
Speaker:no like so you'll come out of the sedation
Speaker:and you'll be kind of loopy for a couple of hours
Speaker:so you need someone to drive you home
Speaker:you'll probably have a little bit of gas
Speaker:that's it okay
Speaker:and then your vows will regulate
Speaker:so you regulate those nor no
Speaker:no so you'll have a normal bowel movement
Speaker:probably the next day or so
Speaker:oh okay depending on how regular you are
Speaker:and like the beginning
Speaker:before you even have the procedure
Speaker:and then you'll be fine okay
Speaker:so you go back to work the next day
Speaker:just to warn you
Speaker:um the day I come back
Speaker:I may need to use the fitness room in your house
Speaker:but sneaking away to take her normal size dump
Speaker:you'll be exercising every five minutes
Speaker:I'm gonna get a hotel
Speaker:I'm gonna get a hotel
Speaker:I think it's the right decision
Speaker:you know what Jamie
Speaker:it won't bother me at all
Speaker:if you shit your pants all day in my house
Speaker:wink coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:yeah I guess it is an effort right
Speaker:to like wrap it up
Speaker:yeah you got some type of birth control or something
Speaker:versus just like
Speaker:yep that's noise I make
Speaker:this brings me to this question
Speaker:which kind of ties in here
Speaker:I'm really unattractive
Speaker:hey Jamie Erica
Speaker:um I have a question I
Speaker:well basically I was with somebody in the condom broke
Speaker:and it's been about two days
Speaker:so I can't take the Plan B pill
Speaker:I'm just wondering what my options are
Speaker:is your plan C
Speaker:I was not on birth control
Speaker:is there anything that you can tell me about
Speaker:about the situation that might be able to help me
Speaker:thank you wow
Speaker:so just I didn't know that was what the question was
Speaker:how long ago
Speaker:how long ago did you get that
Speaker:cause she said two days ago
Speaker:let me ask the voicemail
Speaker:let me ask the voicemail
