Farting and Red Flags
In this episode of Afraid to Ask, comedian Jamie Lissow and his more accomplished half Dr. Erika discuss Jamie's extremely embarrassing incident that happened right before the episode started. They also discuss red flags and deal breakers in relationships.
About the Podcast
Comedian Jamie Lissow and his smarter half Dr. Erika answer all kinds of medical, dating, sex, divorce, questions some might be afraid to ask. Listen & subscribe for prescriptions and punchlines.
Mentioned in this episode:
Warning:
This is an uncensored podcast that will include adult language and topics. Viewer discretion is advised.
Transcript
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend how are you
Speaker:it's fine day I'm really good
Speaker:is it working yes
Speaker:excellent let's not touch shit
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:you did I just caught you
Speaker:I have never caught you scratching your balls
Speaker:I was not
Speaker:you did from out from the outside of my pants or
Speaker:you re react dumb
Speaker:you did something I don't think reacting is real
Speaker:what did you
Speaker:so you just happen to touch your pants
Speaker:where your balls are located
Speaker:I don't know what happened
Speaker:you just scratched your balls
Speaker:why don't you just admit it
Speaker:do you not remember you do it so often
Speaker:it's just like every day it was involuntary
Speaker:you told you just palmed your testes
Speaker:I don't remember it at all
Speaker:and looked at me while scratching I did
Speaker:something horrible just happened
Speaker:why are you scratching your phone
Speaker:no no
Speaker:I'm not talking about that
Speaker:oh
Speaker:something horrible happened
Speaker:can I say this at the stage for a second
Speaker:you can look at me no
Speaker:I was just saying we're having this conversation
Speaker:I won't tell you too much of it
Speaker:but it was like
Speaker:a nice conversation I was having with Erica
Speaker:and I believe I said something like
Speaker:this place really feels like my home
Speaker:I said focus I said
Speaker:this place really feels like my
Speaker:your house does starting to feel like feel like my home
Speaker:and then
Speaker:then you said something what did you say
Speaker:I reached into like kiss you
Speaker:cause I was like oh
Speaker:that's sweet
Speaker:cause sometimes Eric will say are like
Speaker:our bed is made and it means a lot
Speaker:and I said it really does
Speaker:it go this bed really feels like it
Speaker:like really feels like my home
Speaker:and then her give me this lock and she leaned in
Speaker:and
Speaker:I don't know if it was the Chipotle or what happened
Speaker:I then for the first time
Speaker:ever not just farted in front of you
Speaker:but farted in front of any woman
Speaker:you never farted in front of any other woman
Speaker:you were married for almost two decades
Speaker:and you never farted in front of her
Speaker:and I got the first fart I don't think I did
Speaker:and you I
Speaker:feel really special you left very hard
Speaker:you try to break it down how it could have happened
Speaker:it was weird you didn't move
Speaker:I didn't touch you what happened
Speaker:did you I was just like
Speaker:oh dear God and um
Speaker:actually what's funny is you look at me straight face
Speaker:I wanna I thought we
Speaker:I was trying to figure out
Speaker:I was trying to pretend I was trying to pretend
Speaker:I was trying to pretend and I just go
Speaker:what
Speaker:that was my pretend I'm sorry
Speaker:I ran in the closet started packing my suitcase
Speaker:I really did
Speaker:and then you said well
Speaker:that's proof that I really do feel
Speaker:it was an odd moment for that to happen
Speaker:but seriously I didn't squeeze you
Speaker:I didn't hug you I didn't touch you
Speaker:I don't know and you weren't even walking
Speaker:you're just standing there
Speaker:I don't know why a fart came out
Speaker:it was awful it was like a baby fart that was little
Speaker:oh gosh so I for
Speaker:I think I said to you
Speaker:I don't think I can podcast anymore
Speaker:like something big a deal
Speaker:and that's what happened
Speaker:and
Speaker:what's interesting is I don't know what to say
Speaker:you're being so serious
Speaker:here's what I know is interesting
Speaker:unless you have something really
Speaker:I have nothing to say I'm trying to just
Speaker:why are you so embarrassed about this
Speaker:I know
Speaker:like
Speaker:I don't know I do think it's interesting
Speaker:I think it's gross to like
Speaker:fart a bunch or poop in front of the other person
Speaker:like we still I've never known
Speaker:except one time when you've gone No. 2 ever
Speaker:and that was an emergency right
Speaker:like we always even like
Speaker:leave the building and go somewhere else
Speaker:you're the first woman I've ever had like a code
Speaker:like I'll say I'm gonna go make a phone call
Speaker:I'm gonna make a phone call
Speaker:what you do on the all the other times
Speaker:just make her think that you hated her and left oh
Speaker:with other relationships
Speaker:I think I just went in a different part of the house
Speaker:or like do you remember the one time you lied to me
Speaker:the worst lie that you told me
Speaker:to get out of admitting that you had to go poop
Speaker:which one in this room in the oh yeah
Speaker:we did discuss that that I um
Speaker:we did but I just not everyone's heard every episode
Speaker:so I said I was going to the fitness room
Speaker:and then upon I said twice
Speaker:I'm gonna go do chin UPS
Speaker:and on the way out of the hotel
Speaker:there's no fitness you know
Speaker:you just copped up to it
Speaker:you're like Erica just you know
Speaker:there's no gym here I was like
Speaker:you liar well anyway
Speaker:yes you farted
Speaker:but what I don't understand why is
Speaker:why is it so embarrassing
Speaker:I got food poisoning and was throwing up like crazy
Speaker:yeah and having diarrhea and I was like
Speaker:that's kind of embarrassing
Speaker:yeah I don't know
Speaker:why were you embarrassed at the colonoscopy
Speaker:when you were going upstairs
Speaker:pooping every five minutes
Speaker:I don't I mean yeah
Speaker:like I would have rather been alone
Speaker:but there's definitely these things
Speaker:um when was it a fart though
Speaker:why are you why is it a fart
Speaker:don't know upbringing
Speaker:but like peeing you'll pee with the door open
Speaker:yeah prefer it
Speaker:not sure
Speaker:not sure why did that like invoke a man
Speaker:I love it my trust
Speaker:pee outside yeah
Speaker:not a problem good question
Speaker:don't know maybe it smells bad and then you
Speaker:I don't know makes you feel imperfect
Speaker:I don't know what a shock
Speaker:you've never farted in front of anyone else
Speaker:no dudes maybe doubtful
Speaker:less than 5 times what
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:I feel like you're very atypical and not in a bad way
Speaker:thank god most men are disgusting
Speaker:but like yeah
Speaker:do your friends fart in front of you a lot
Speaker:nah you have nice friends though
Speaker:I think you're a very unique bunch
Speaker:yeah I seriously
Speaker:I feel like they're very mature
Speaker:most men that I've been around do not care
Speaker:so interesting in their guy friend group
Speaker:if anyone farts they think it's funny
Speaker:they just keep going it's disgusting
Speaker:men are gross is it cause I'm older
Speaker:no I guess I've never done this
Speaker:I can't believe you never farted
Speaker:you ever farted in front of a woman
Speaker:before have I a female friend
Speaker:I had a farting contest with a girl once
Speaker:haha I did
Speaker:in bed well
Speaker:I didn't realize you were in bed
Speaker:well it was a sleepover
Speaker:we were in like high school or college
Speaker:and I had to fart really
Speaker:really bad and I was embarrassed
Speaker:I wanna fart in front of her
Speaker:and she was like finally
Speaker:I just she's my best friend
Speaker:I was like yeah
Speaker:I just I gotta admit to you
Speaker:I can't get up every two seconds and like
Speaker:go fart in the bathroom wow
Speaker:so I was like I have to fart
Speaker:she was oh my god
Speaker:I had to fart too wow
Speaker:just do it I was like really
Speaker:she's like yeah
Speaker:and I was like uh
Speaker:and then she goes and we were laughing
Speaker:so there was a contest
Speaker:we just kept going back and forth
Speaker:and then finally it started to smell really bad
Speaker:so we had to stop that is
Speaker:this is like the opposite of finding out
Speaker:you had a hot lesbian experience in college haha
Speaker:yep so anyway
Speaker:that's what happened
Speaker:I think I forgot we're supposed to talk about
Speaker:well here's what I think is interesting as well
Speaker:we've been like intimate
Speaker:I've done a testicular exam on you
Speaker:when you were worried that you had swelling
Speaker:from blue balls remember
Speaker:like I've touched and done a lot of things yeah
Speaker:I and I want to
Speaker:cannot keep this like gross
Speaker:like I just want I I think in an intimate setting right
Speaker:any couple yeah the stuff that we do together
Speaker:it is interesting incredible sex at all
Speaker:you do yeah
Speaker:right you do is that what you're getting at
Speaker:we have the sex well yes
Speaker:that's what I'm getting at yeah
Speaker:but why are I mean
Speaker:to see someone naked all the time and to touch that
Speaker:and then to be embarrassed of a tiny fart
Speaker:do you think I think it's interesting
Speaker:do you think a lot of times we walk around
Speaker:pretend we're not like people that we don't do stuff
Speaker:like we're like this different version of ourselves
Speaker:we walk pretty honest with you no
Speaker:no I don't mean like in a fake way
Speaker:I mean like people in general
Speaker:if you're at any type of if you're watching a musician
Speaker:or if you're at those moments
Speaker:you're kind of like
Speaker:I'm gonna go hide and pee and then come back
Speaker:I feel like there's like
Speaker:a whole thing where we hide and do stuff well
Speaker:I certainly don't think that anyone sees like
Speaker:a Victoria's secret model and wonders
Speaker:the last time she had explosive diarrhea no
Speaker:you're in fact I think most men truly do
Speaker:like to picture women as never defecating 100%
Speaker:not that you'd be like woo
Speaker:but like it's it's a
Speaker:I had a guy that said
Speaker:he'd never once known his wife had pooped
Speaker:in like 15 years of marriage
Speaker:and he was bragging like he did in front of all time
Speaker:didn't care and he's like
Speaker:my wife doesn't do that
Speaker:but he said it a really derogatory way where like
Speaker:she wasn't even allowed to like have bodily functions
Speaker:it was like no
Speaker:you have to be my beautiful supermodel wife
Speaker:and he would say that I don't think we're like that
Speaker:but I think there's a certain level of like
Speaker:respect as well you're the first guy though
Speaker:that I've ever dated who's been like very
Speaker:very private about pooping farting hmm
Speaker:thank you welcome
Speaker:I mean yeah
Speaker:hey uh huh
Speaker:sorry about this I drilled the whole podcast
Speaker:I kind of feel like I need to like one up
Speaker:you go ahead
Speaker:cause I feel like you're embarrassed still
Speaker:and we like bring you back to like
Speaker:you're okay did you know that when women fart
Speaker:if they're sitting down
Speaker:the fart has nowhere to go so it goes into their vagina
Speaker:what that's
Speaker:that's not
Speaker:no why doesn't it like a bubble that goes up
Speaker:I don't understand if you're sitting down on a chair
Speaker:why isn't it go back there
Speaker:it can't cause you're sitting on your bumhole
Speaker:wow as nowhere to go
Speaker:if you're leaning if I'm leaning this way
Speaker:chairs can't go back it goes the least resistant
Speaker:yeah and it gets trapped in your bed
Speaker:is that a common thing you've discussed this with other
Speaker:really is that right
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:have you ever been about to be intimate and you're like
Speaker:got a fart stored in there can't do that right now
Speaker:do you really want me to go into detail about that
Speaker:okay
Speaker:that's a that's a fascinating terrifying that is
Speaker:you ever farted during sex
Speaker:I feel like well actually that's a great question
Speaker:I should know the answer to this as a physician
Speaker:you have we don't actually if you fart during sex
Speaker:I feel like you would know the answer
Speaker:no I mean like who farts more men or women
Speaker:cause women are getting like a lot of pressure oh
Speaker:during sex and honestly with penetrative sex
Speaker:they are getting them it's like way more pressure
Speaker:so like please do it
Speaker:come on just a tip please then I'll get out of here
Speaker:that's not funny so your physical pressure
Speaker:I'm just gonna start
Speaker:let's talk about you farting again
Speaker:okay this is great
Speaker:I now know how to shut you down quickly
Speaker:I'm gonna use this all the time
Speaker:you do something that annoys me
Speaker:if you're cooking dinner and I don't like it
Speaker:I'm just remember that time you farted
Speaker:okay but then guys
Speaker:you're doing
Speaker:most of the time when you're like missionary style
Speaker:or dog so whatever
Speaker:you're doing
Speaker:all the effort and you're really thrusting yep
Speaker:so wonder if that would push out a fart
Speaker:I don't know I like this
Speaker:I feel like women more so because of the pressure
Speaker:pushing down on them but you never know
Speaker:you don't know well
Speaker:it's not like anal sex where
Speaker:of course you'll have a lot of flatulence
Speaker:that just what well
Speaker:you're pushing air I would think you wouldn't have any
Speaker:you're pushing air that's blocked
Speaker:I'm serious I would have never thought that
Speaker:there would be any flashlights during
Speaker:where to go because you're pushing
Speaker:if it's penetrative
Speaker:you're pushing an object in and pulling it out
Speaker:and there will be air still
Speaker:I have an upsetting statistic for you
Speaker:oh
Speaker:this is I don't think we've ever talked about this
Speaker:what
Speaker:how many times do you think people pass gas per day
Speaker:oh 20
Speaker:20 was it twenty
Speaker:yeah 10 to 20
Speaker:you're on the high end
Speaker:you and your girlfriend under the
Speaker:under the covers well
Speaker:at least I'm not in denial
Speaker:it's normal for people to pass gas
Speaker:10 to 20 times per day and
Speaker:your colon isn't really concerned
Speaker:with what else may be going on
Speaker:yeah so this
Speaker:and that's for 24 hours right
Speaker:including when you're sleeping
Speaker:that's why you're not supposed to sleep naked
Speaker:I think I just farted for a few seconds
Speaker:no
Speaker:you're not supposed to sleep naked for that reason
Speaker:because when you fart you're expelling fecal manner
Speaker:not just air
Speaker:so that particulate usually contains a lot of bacteria
Speaker:and then if you're sleeping naked
Speaker:especially with a partner
Speaker:or just in your sheets in general
Speaker:yeah you're spraying that contaminant everywhere
Speaker:do you know what I think we should do
Speaker:not talk about this anymore
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask I'm afraid to ask on the podcast
Speaker:afraid to ask
Speaker:we've always provided the podcast for free
Speaker:it's been free up to this point
Speaker:I'm not kidding
Speaker:I feel like now is the time we start a Patreon
Speaker:and for like 5 bucks a month
Speaker:you don't have to hear this one
Speaker:haha
Speaker:you this one does need the biggest disclaimer
Speaker:this one will not
Speaker:maybe we can talk about that a little bit hey
Speaker:guess what you're right haha
Speaker:during vaginal sex thrusting
Speaker:can put pressure on the lower part of your rectum
Speaker:which is close to the upper part of your vagina
Speaker:near the cervix making it harder to hold in gas
Speaker:during anal sex
Speaker:you're putting direct pressure on the rectum
Speaker:and relaxing additional muscles in Uranus
Speaker:and so you can sometimes fart during sex yeah
Speaker:how to prevent first during sex
Speaker:well first of all
Speaker:say methacone over the counter
Speaker:that's like gas X you'd also could do an enema
Speaker:so anything with saline usually or glycerins
Speaker:positories things to emit any fecal matter down there
Speaker:make sure you're not constipated for gas buildup
Speaker:avoid gassy foods
Speaker:I hate all great answers are all on here
Speaker:I hate that we're talking about this
Speaker:avoid carbonated drinks yeah yeah
Speaker:well gassy foods
Speaker:so that's a big one poop first
Speaker:does it say that uh huh
Speaker:yeah well yeah
Speaker:well that's why I said they get enema
Speaker:especially if you're planning on having
Speaker:anal sex
Speaker:is often advised to try to clear out everything
Speaker:cause that's more sanitary as well wow
Speaker:you think anal sex is often advised
Speaker:oh you mean cleaning if you're going to
Speaker:well people will do it
Speaker:so I might as well provide the best advice possible
Speaker:regardless of you know
Speaker:absolutely my thoughts on the matter
Speaker:just because I don't like it
Speaker:doesn't mean someone else would yeah
Speaker:I said I said to my therapist today
Speaker:you talk about anal sex sex
Speaker:yeah your therapist
Speaker:I was wow
Speaker:I can't even speak please take the floor
Speaker:try to remember what made me think of this
Speaker:did you have another thing
Speaker:where do you know that the farting thing
Speaker:I we didn't do it like
Speaker:I don't know what the podcast is about right now
Speaker:was there another topic today
Speaker:um cause I have one
Speaker:if you didn't have uh
Speaker:one queued up by Calvin oh yeah
Speaker:well I thought
Speaker:we had a list of things that were deal breakers yeah
Speaker:oh that's what it was
Speaker:and I figured you know
Speaker:farting would be one of them
Speaker:but it's not for you
Speaker:you're saying like oh
Speaker:I thought you meant
Speaker:because you're more comfortable with it
Speaker:yours party isn't a deal breaker for you
Speaker:is it it's not a deal breaker for you either
Speaker:I don't think no
Speaker:but I mean
Speaker:are you breaking up with me because it's just oh
Speaker:I suppose party in excess
Speaker:I would have some concerns about yes
Speaker:that yes
Speaker:I was gonna make a joke
Speaker:and I didn't have the confidence okay
Speaker:here's a question I have oh
Speaker:what do you think I have um
Speaker:a lot of sources here brides com one of my favorites
Speaker:deal breakers in a relationship
Speaker:now I feel like I'm gonna click on this
Speaker:and it's gonna be
Speaker:some pretty common things are gonna be like oh
Speaker:he cheats on me
Speaker:is it just like a list or is it a questionnaire
Speaker:like if you have this you should break up
Speaker:this is the warning top 18 deal breakers in order
Speaker:based on bradstockcom opinion
Speaker:this is in order okay
Speaker:so never okay
Speaker:you're saying is it 1 to 18 or is it 18 to one
Speaker:yeah I don't know so you're looking at it
Speaker:you tell me
Speaker:you know what the lyric of their deal breakers
Speaker:is there an order breaking the deal
Speaker:I don't know it's like the worst
Speaker:like the most offensive thing you could possibly do
Speaker:versus like and is it examples
Speaker:like he interrupts you when you're talking
Speaker:or is it
Speaker:or the characteristics of something else
Speaker:this list is not an order
Speaker:can I tell you why okay
Speaker:in any order even though it says objective
Speaker:even though it says is no
Speaker:because it
Speaker:No. 1 is your partner doesn't want the same things as
Speaker:you
Speaker:right well
Speaker:that's obvious yeah
Speaker:if you don't have compatibility
Speaker:if you don't like the same things honestly
Speaker:remember when I was married
Speaker:like I liked my dick and I like myself
Speaker:and you like yourself
Speaker:I think that's true
Speaker:but I feel like this means wanting the same things
Speaker:I'm wrong about saying liking the same things yeah
Speaker:wanting the same things right yeah
Speaker:I think it's so important
Speaker:like it do you feel like it means the drive
Speaker:like the I'll tell you what they says for example
Speaker:oh for example
Speaker:incredibly vague incredibly vague for example
Speaker:if you wanna move to the countryside
Speaker:but they thrive in the big city yeah
Speaker:this could be an automatic relationship deal breaker
Speaker:that's your hallmark movie
Speaker:yeah you like those when the seasons right yeah yeah
Speaker:like fall to Christmas and then I'm done if I don't
Speaker:I've never seen one of those yes
Speaker:you have you saw the guy with the plaid sweater
Speaker:the fisherman's sweater
Speaker:part was just solid clips of it yeah
Speaker:but not a deal breaker if you watch that shit
Speaker:if someone I got one this this
Speaker:I don't know if it's on here
Speaker:maybe it's one of the the wrong things
Speaker:I dated a girl once for like a minute and then um
Speaker:she started like every time I was at her house
Speaker:she was like
Speaker:turn on the TV and sit down and just watch
Speaker:like nothing and I was like
Speaker:we got shit to do hmm I got work to do
Speaker:I wanna go work out I wanna do whatever
Speaker:it was just like this constant like just what's on
Speaker:I don't like a what's on TV attitude
Speaker:I like a let's dial up this show and watch it
Speaker:that's why I like about streaming services
Speaker:I don't like the whole like what's on
Speaker:everyone's while a fun little oh
Speaker:family feuds on this is good
Speaker:I like to go I wanna watch this
Speaker:I don't wanna waste time
Speaker:and someone that super watch TV person yeah
Speaker:well I feel like this was gonna be like very like
Speaker:you want kids and they don't
Speaker:or you're religious and they're not yeah
Speaker:let me give you more
Speaker:your partner abuses you money and they're terrible
Speaker:that's why I feel like this not in order
Speaker:cause this next one is abuses you
Speaker:that should probably be number one
Speaker:probably it's number two the kids right
Speaker:it shouldn't be you can't be like
Speaker:oh he he abuses me
Speaker:I'll stay with him
Speaker:but we don't like the same blah blah blah
Speaker:you know what I mean it's like talking about verbal
Speaker:emotional could be physical
Speaker:so I mean this is like a lot of different things
Speaker:you're always fighting
Speaker:you don't trust your partner
Speaker:I like that you're always fighting one
Speaker:you're always fighting duh
Speaker:no shit you should break up yeah
Speaker:do you think though
Speaker:I used to think no fighting was good
Speaker:it's not I think then you're in denial
Speaker:and you're not talking about the issues of hand
Speaker:I heard this great quote
Speaker:and I would love to be able to reproduce right now
Speaker:normally I don't want to reproduce anything
Speaker:but I thought about this quote
Speaker:it really hit me it said when something bothers me
Speaker:I'm I can in in my
Speaker:I can only do one or two things being myself
Speaker:I can either say something and mess things up
Speaker:or not say anything and mess myself up
Speaker:what's the option to not mess up either person
Speaker:unfortunately it was not in the quote
Speaker:I don't like that quote then okay
Speaker:yeah not a not a real solution based quote
Speaker:how about just changing your perspective
Speaker:you can allow something to bother you or you can
Speaker:not sure get to you and just fix it if you have to
Speaker:but you're right trust not being your authentic self
Speaker:I think is a huge one
Speaker:money appreciated money job discrepancies
Speaker:money to script like one's a good saver
Speaker:one's just a spender for everything
Speaker:I feel like that'd be a huge breakup thing
Speaker:that would be for me too
Speaker:I could see some people going like well
Speaker:it's a good balance I make a shitload of money
Speaker:and she or he pays for everything
Speaker:and it's fine but I would have a lot of trouble
Speaker:you and I were talking about this
Speaker:we both have weird I like you know
Speaker:I think we both do okay in life
Speaker:but we both have weird things that where
Speaker:when money is wasted we will lose our minds
Speaker:what is yours yours is like if you have to
Speaker:I will not order similarly on TV
Speaker:even if it's like a 99 cents or a dollar 99
Speaker:I'm like why I pay for all these streaming services
Speaker:we're watching a movie that it's free
Speaker:I'm gonna say something else and we can edit this out
Speaker:if you're not okay with this
Speaker:what you're gonna make fun of me
Speaker:oh I know what you're gonna say
Speaker:Eric is a doctor successful doctor
Speaker:it's not beautiful house
Speaker:beautiful house and it's not weird
Speaker:what can I say don't spoil it
Speaker:my great story I'm not
Speaker:she's very successful she's great
Speaker:the other day we're having sex and she's like hey
Speaker:would you put on some music
Speaker:and I go sure
Speaker:she's want you use my phone all right
Speaker:so I should have Pandora I'm like
Speaker:oh listen to some Billie Eilish radio
Speaker:and so things are happening
Speaker:and people taking the clothes off
Speaker:Billie Eilish is singing Billie Eilish finished singing
Speaker:and we're in the middle of something
Speaker:and I hear Fred Meyers has two for one
Speaker:hot dogs for the 4th of July
Speaker:come on into your local Fred Meyers
Speaker:for the best in all your buns needs
Speaker:we got hot dog buns it's time for the big game
Speaker:come on in and load up
Speaker:your cart with all the hot dog bun sale if Fred Meyers
Speaker:so now that's it's Pandora
Speaker:it's
Speaker:it's with as another problem is
Speaker:that was longer than the sex
Speaker:well you just did
Speaker:all right well
Speaker:now every time I hear Fred Meyers and I get our now
Speaker:what is it you just you like the
Speaker:what is it with the ad thing
Speaker:you don't you think it's a good fucking
Speaker:I think it's funny that's cute
Speaker:it's too expensive it's not the money
Speaker:I've had it for years
Speaker:and I don't want to go to a new platform that
Speaker:I have to learn and I have curated it
Speaker:so it plays my favorite songs
Speaker:over and over and over again
Speaker:based on a listen I've made
Speaker:I don't want to start from scratch
Speaker:that's true
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:my favorite playlist you have on there is Shut Up
Speaker:is cookout they have a
Speaker:I love the cookout playlist
Speaker:it's like half price hot dogs
Speaker:chicken wings no
Speaker:some people maybe I'm multitasking
Speaker:maybe I'm grocery shopping
Speaker:at the same time as giving you a blowjob wow
Speaker:my friend's a lawyer so be entertained now
Speaker:listening to my friends I know he has
Speaker:I know he has at least $3 million in the bank
Speaker:and he has Hulu with ads
Speaker:he says he likes it better
Speaker:he has a pretty good point
Speaker:he says
Speaker:it builds up the anticipation of watching the thing
Speaker:he goes
Speaker:I like it more cause I can go get a drink or whatever
Speaker:my son told me
Speaker:he didn't wanna fast pass its six flags amusement park
Speaker:cause he wanted to wait in line to have the
Speaker:what am I trying to say delayed gratification
Speaker:I think everyone has certain things like that
Speaker:if you become really dangerously cheap
Speaker:to your detriment where you're suffering unnecessarily
Speaker:yeah say you're reusing the same
Speaker:pair of underwear that have holes in them
Speaker:and they're stretched out really thin
Speaker:they don't sure their job
Speaker:or maybe they scratch you or something
Speaker:your shoes are worn out at the bottom
Speaker:and your toe hurts but you won't change it
Speaker:that's a problem
Speaker:I don't think ABS are a problem
Speaker:could I upgrade sure
Speaker:I don't you're right I changed all your time
Speaker:it's not as in no way a deal breaker
Speaker:I just find that to be an interesting thing
Speaker:I said upgrade I wasn't referencing my Pandora
Speaker:wow wow um
Speaker:but you're right
Speaker:too big of money things in my opinion deal breaker
Speaker:if someone didn't save any money and spent
Speaker:and lived paycheck to paycheck
Speaker:I would have a real big problem with that
Speaker:cause it goes so counter to all the things
Speaker:I am scared about yeah
Speaker:and I want security with I need to like
Speaker:save that money for the kids and all this
Speaker:I think that would be really difficult
Speaker:um but I do think it's interesting too
Speaker:that I will like splurge on like a really nice dinner
Speaker:and not even think twice about it
Speaker:and then I'll be like
Speaker:what where is the like I bought like
Speaker:I don't know band aids and they forgot them
Speaker:that was $2 right
Speaker:they screwed me out of my purchase like and it's weird
Speaker:it's weird it is you having me
Speaker:once
Speaker:I was watching a movie with my kids and they were like
Speaker:it's an old Adam Sandler
Speaker:we're having like an Adam Sandler week
Speaker:and they want to watch a grown UPS or something
Speaker:and they and I go
Speaker:grown UPS is on whatever Voodoo or Amazon Prime
Speaker:it was a dollar 99 to rent it
Speaker:and so I rent it and as I press purchase
Speaker:my son goes oh
Speaker:it's on Netflix oh
Speaker:dagger
Speaker:stomach hurt by physically I was in physical pain yeah
Speaker:that's not physical pain a dollar night and I was like
Speaker:oh what's the concept right of wasting something
Speaker:wasting something but yeah
Speaker:when I was drinking I'd buy a 14 dollar glass of wine
Speaker:commonly in Los Angeles which again
Speaker:that is a little counterintuitive because you yeah
Speaker:it's difficult you know
Speaker:that was interesting when we were um
Speaker:in in Vegas
Speaker:they had this whole row of like snacks and stuff
Speaker:and is super overpriced right
Speaker:yeah like raisinettes first of all
Speaker:who fucking eats those they still got raisinettes
Speaker:they were there damn
Speaker:where were where were we the Tropicana
Speaker:we're in Fremont Street
Speaker:that's like old school but I guess no
Speaker:it was it was right at the in the living room part
Speaker:anyway
Speaker:next to it they had her pleasure kit his pleasure kit
Speaker:did you see it
Speaker:and her pleasure kit was a personal massager lubricant
Speaker:wow
Speaker:and I think a condom
Speaker:and then his pleasure kit was a personal something
Speaker:loop and a condom
Speaker:but first of all I don't understand the difference
Speaker:why isn't it just one kit right
Speaker:cause it didn't show I didn't touch it
Speaker:but I was like reading it
Speaker:cause I was curious and I was like
Speaker:oh how do you pick how do you pick right
Speaker:but then the other thing is
Speaker:it was 50 bucks for I think one condom and one thing
Speaker:a loop and I was just sitting there thinking hmm
Speaker:is 50 bucks worth sex to me
Speaker:are you serious I don't know
Speaker:this is one of the things
Speaker:I would not even think about it
Speaker:and I would pay 50 immediately
Speaker:I got this is what a great price
Speaker:and I just use the jetted tub or something
Speaker:I don't know wow
Speaker:that's crazy because I would absolutely pay that
Speaker:like say usually we had no
Speaker:we had no con or anything like would you pay for that
Speaker:I wouldn't even think about it
Speaker:and I got mad about the two dollar movie
Speaker:I would do that if I had $50 left okay
Speaker:what if what if okay what if it was hundred bucks
Speaker:you could not go anywhere else theoretically
Speaker:what if your only chance well
Speaker:now I'm like taking this all about
Speaker:your only chance to sleep with someone
Speaker:it it it's me and you well
Speaker:no and what if we would just go
Speaker:no sex the next day somewhere else
Speaker:let's say we're just getting together
Speaker:and I feel like this is the moment
Speaker:we're gonna sleep together the first time
Speaker:and you're like I got a thousand dollars easy
Speaker:maybe 15 for the condiment loop easy what
Speaker:not even a question mortgage the house
Speaker:hundred percent
Speaker:if I really like you and I want and this could happen
Speaker:can't do they take credit cards
Speaker:oh man is there a banker I can speak to
Speaker:I would just go to bed
Speaker:I know this like Doordash or something
Speaker:I know this 15 hundred dollars if you wouldn't do it
Speaker:I would do Doordash if you were not interested
Speaker:fifteen hundred dollars what
Speaker:what is the most expensive condom you would buy
Speaker:if you were like the girls
Speaker:not on any kind of birth control
Speaker:I really wanna do it this his her pleasure pack
Speaker:but she'll do or the raisinettes
Speaker:what's it gonna be but she'll
Speaker:she would allow it without it kind of
Speaker:you have to have sex
Speaker:and the only way you can do it is this pleasure pack
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:it's different because I give you like
Speaker:for sure she would get pregnant otherwise
Speaker:so it's no sex or it's different because if it's you
Speaker:I'm going 15 maybe 2000 I mean I'm in the morning
Speaker:will I regret paying that much money
Speaker:I don't think I'll regret the same thing
Speaker:but I don't if it's just a random girl
Speaker:hundred dollars well
Speaker:that's very nice of you to
Speaker:it was that yeah
Speaker:I wasn't trying to be very nice
Speaker:I like how you don't even
Speaker:you're like you know what
Speaker:I wouldn't do it for wholesale price of the condom
Speaker:yeah it was 5 bucks if they were giving it away
Speaker:I would go to sleep early condom hmm
Speaker:I didn't notice that that's interesting
Speaker:it is well
Speaker:what an up sale too and that's messed up
Speaker:they should be free it's Vegas
Speaker:they should be handing them out everywhere
Speaker:but no
Speaker:that's like going to a ball game
Speaker:and they charge you like
Speaker:50 bucks for a bottle of water
Speaker:but now it's like oh
Speaker:you could have a child or you could have sex
Speaker:but if you don't have money sorry
Speaker:I feel like that's a massive
Speaker:what they mean they
Speaker:so they sell those kits for $50
Speaker:and I feel it's a little expensive
Speaker:but I would I would pay it for sure
Speaker:I think they would make the same amount of money
Speaker:if they cost $1 million
Speaker:because one guy would have to pay it
Speaker:one guy would buy one of those for $1 million
Speaker:there's some situations or you would pay
Speaker:I'm I'm
Speaker:I lied to you just now I would pay 10
Speaker:I would have paid 10 grand for it
Speaker:no you wouldn't have
Speaker:I think I'm ridiculous
Speaker:you're thinking of the concept of like
Speaker:us staying together yeah
Speaker:but I'm also picturing just sex with someone
Speaker:all right
Speaker:like you have the emotional tie
Speaker:that excuse the whole thing
Speaker:but I didn't I guess I did
Speaker:okay whatever
Speaker:okay we're not together
Speaker:we're not together and you're breaking up with me
Speaker:no yes
Speaker:I'm breaking up with you because of the fart
Speaker:okay model
Speaker:gorgeous girl gorgeous girl
Speaker:gorgeous girl
Speaker:yeah hand model or full body
Speaker:full body okay
Speaker:and we're in there she goes
Speaker:I would love to have sex with you
Speaker:but I need you to wear a condom
Speaker:how much am I paying for the kit
Speaker:yeah how much do I have
Speaker:what's my number that's what I'm saying
Speaker:it's a one time thing it's not a relationship
Speaker:it's like a I'm like super well
Speaker:this will never happen again
Speaker:hundred bucks that's it
Speaker:maybe 3 hmm
Speaker:how am I doing in my career
Speaker:are things good did I have a good weekend
Speaker:haha did I just
Speaker:did I make a bonus did I make a sell out bonus
Speaker:I just think it's interesting that
Speaker:we can talk about how we wouldn't pay $2 for a movie
Speaker:or yeah
Speaker:you have to have sex with me
Speaker:listening to Fred Meyer ads
Speaker:yeah but like you'd pay
Speaker:$15,000 for I don't know
Speaker:it's weird that we have these things in our head
Speaker:these hangups though
Speaker:because I remember when I was drinking
Speaker:I paid 20 bucks for a glass of wine cigars
Speaker:I bought a cigar for 30 bucks before yeah
Speaker:well but sometimes aren't they that expensive
Speaker:and yeah even worse yeah
Speaker:but like you know 20
Speaker:30 bucks and then if you think about like
Speaker:I bought a can of beer before for $7 at the concert
Speaker:isn't it so crazy that that can of beer
Speaker:that bottle of water is a dollar somewhere else
Speaker:but it's surrounding yourself and like in that scenario
Speaker:like huh it's worth it
Speaker:well gas X is like 4 bucks if you'd like to get some
Speaker:haha I'm very embarrassed
Speaker:this was not the scheduled programming today
Speaker:let's hang up and try this again tomorrow
Speaker:coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:so I went upstairs to make a phone call and I
Speaker:this is always been a thing
Speaker:I don't know why this is
Speaker:I don't know what is Nick asking
Speaker:cause I feel like I went up there
Speaker:I came back down and you go
Speaker:I thought you were gonna make a phone call
Speaker:I go oh
Speaker:I'm done cause it took me about one minute
Speaker:I didn't realize you were gone
Speaker:I know I was like I don't even know what I was doing
Speaker:so you maybe yeah
Speaker:when I was rushing my second
Speaker:you go and you do it you clean up you know
Speaker:I've been in airport
Speaker:but I don't this is what Nikki saying
Speaker:but I've been in airport bathrooms for one yesterday
Speaker:where I felt like a guy was like
Speaker:there was two guys having a wrestling match
Speaker:just like noises
Speaker:come on get in there and I just like
Speaker:like you've got this keep going
Speaker:you're like coaxing something I feel like it's like a
Speaker:in all seriously I feel like it's a struggle
Speaker:I feel like the bath is a struggle
